Legal advise!!

[mudd kitty]

And thanks for the opinions and the advise. It's helped me see outside my little box and look at other options. Even if I dont particularly like them its something to think about. Possibly approach her a little different and ask what her opinion is and how she would like to work it out. I may have backed her into a corner without realizing it with the 2 options. Thanks again guys it's been a little stress release as well to talk about my problems with random strangers Weird..........

But everyone I do talk to about it is biased and on my side cause they are here and see but having random people give advise is surprisingly refreshing.

Thanks snowandmud peeps

 

[scotts]

Seems to me many on here are biased on the kids side. Just always do what's truely in their best interest and you will have always done the right thing.
Might not be the best thing for you, but the right move neverless.

 

[mudd kitty]

Seems to me many on here are biased on the kids side. Just always do what's truely in their best interest and you will have always done the right thing.
Might not be the best thing for you, but the right move neverless.

I know I know............. I could always find a job that suits the situation better so that I could bring them back and forth to school. I mean I come to work in town anyways just not the same hours as they would have...but I could...................


Just gonna be hard to find one that pays me the $$$ i make now but I guess sacrifice is the name of the game!

 

[eclipse1966]

I personally have not had to face such circumstances (happily married for 21 years and 3 daughters later) but a very close friend of ours went thru hell and back with her ex husband - he had a 7 year affair. All I can say that if it goes to court there is nothing logical about the decisions taking place and you had better have saved up a small fortune to fight for what is right. I could get into the details but it is too bizarre to even explain. Wish you luck!!

 

[SledMamma]

Well isn't that sweet the only ones I talk to don't live near me and ill be lucky if I see them! So ur life would be horrible and wasted if u didn't see them anymore?? I think that the friend issue is very minor compared to the whole of the situation. I know that my bestie that I have now is a wonderful girl and had I not moved I woulda never met her!! My life wouldn't be the same without her so really it can go both ways maybe they would miss out on a life long friendship!! And its not like we are moving across the country! We are moving 30min from town!!! Their friends can come and stay the weekend swim in our pool ride our quads where I can see them!!! So enough with friends I want to know if we can be stopped! We are willing to give the mom the kids so they can stay in their current school but I don't think she could handle it!! She hasn't had the kids and a job all in the same day for oooohhhh 6 years!!!! But now she's lawyering up and I guess I wonder why cause we offered her the kids full time and we get them on the weekends when they are in school and every second holiday. If she wasn't ok with that then they live with us and have to switch schools.

Posted from my BlackBerry using BerryBlab

Well... I see a few things here. It kinda sounds like you've already made up your mind, so you aren't going to like some of them...

When parents separate, the goal of the courts and the parents is theoretically to make the transition as easy on the children as possible and to make available to them the same resources as if the split never happened. In my opinion, when you agree to step in as the Step-Parent, you agree to these same rules and to love those children as your own. Furthermore, as nasty as the prospect might be, that woman who birthed those children becomes your family unit too. She might be akin to the aunt no one really cares for, but she still counts and gets consideration. These are the terms going in, and if you don't agree to behave accordingly, then you don't belong in that family unit.

In reality, when you offer her the kids full time, you have offered her nothing that is a viable option from her perspective. You might not like what she does or her schedule, but that is her reality and you are backing her into a corner and threatening her livelihood. What would you do if she told you when/how much YOU could work?? The fact that an undesirable BF is the alternate caregiver full-time when she is working just makes this even less of an offer. You can tell me what a deadbeat she is and how she never got a job until such and such a time and blah blah. It really doesn't change the present and your opinion of her doesn't make you right. Further, you suggesting the kids stay with her full time and endure the BF despite the emotional toll it takes on them belies the fact that you truly have their best interests at heart.

I do admire you taking on a crappy situation and extending your love to these kids. It takes a strong person. I really think you need to drop all the historical "she did this- didnt do that" crap and examine your true motives. It's extraneous and distracting to point out her past wrong behaviours and it could cost a pretty penny at the lawyers just to prove you are right.

Soooo... If High Level is as deadbeat as you say and the best option for the kids' future is a home in the country, then you need to ante up with a better offer that is realistic in Mom's perception. Let them stay in the same school and step up to driving when you have the kids if this move means that much to you. Is there a bussing option or a chance to meet Mom and have her drive them halfway?

I'm not saying that you are wrong about the Mom. I can't imagine why she stays in such a screwed up situation, but you are expending emotional energy rallying against a person who can't/won't change and giving away your power in the process.

Sometimes as adults we convince ourselves we are right, and back it up with all sortsa logical arguments but in the end we aren't truly being unselfish. It's a big girl panty thing and you need to do some soul-searching in this arena...

You do need to sit the kids down. Set the stage and explain that you only want what's best. They are old enough to understand and, if you reduce their fear of disappointing you by saying it doesn't matter what they say, as long as they participate in an honest discussion about the family's future,it will help them to open up. They might not know themselves what they want, but at least you can discuss the pros and cons. Maybe brainstorm some pros and cons with them and contribute cons yourself to show that it's ok to speak out with negative opinions?? Their opinion matters and you can't just move without it- it's not fair.

If you truly weigh your motives, the desires of the kids and your spouse's true feelings and come up with moving as the only option that suits, then set aside some cash and hire a lawyer ... But that should be a last resort.

Hope you don't hate me, but that's how I feel.

 

[sweetsecret73]

My own personal opinion but I would have to agree with sledmamma. Unfortunately it may be the best situation for you and your bf to move but essentially you are asking the mother to change her situation and arranged job schedule or give up her time with her children. I am sure she feels backed into a corner as mamma has already mentioned.

I have been through a similar situation with my three oldest children. Their father lives in Calgary and is suppose to take the kids every weekend. This turned into every 2nd weekend due to his work schedule. Now it seems there is always another excuse so he comes maybe once a month. I have arranged my job, and outside interests (such as sledding :d) around these weekends. When he changes things it unfortunately effects me. I am lucky and have the ability to change my work schedule on short notice. I have family close who is great with helping me out if I have something already planned. What I am trying to get across is what you are trying to do is going to greatly impact her life one way or another. Is there another route you can go? I am sure the acreage you are looking is wonderful but are there no acreages closer to town so the children don't have to change schools?

You stated that you feel the country is the best place for the kids. I do agree with you but please remember that at the age the children are at friends are very important. I have a 16, 15, and 13 year old who love living in the country for the dirtbiking, quadding, and sledding. If you were to ask them where they would rather live they would say in town in a heartbeat. To be closer to their friends whom they spend more and more time with as they get older.

 

[mudd kitty]

===== QUOTE mudd kitty ====

Well isn't that sweet the only ones I talk to don't live near me and ill be lucky if I see them! So ur life would be horrible and wasted if u didn't see them anymore?? I think that the friend issue is very minor compared to the whole of the situation. I know that my bestie that I have now is a wonderful girl and had I not moved I woulda never met her!! My life wouldn't be the same without her so really it can go both ways maybe they would miss out on a life long friendship!! And its not like we are moving across the country! We are moving 30min from town!!! Their friends can come and stay the weekend swim in our pool ride our quads where I can see them!!! So enough with friends I want to know if we can be stopped! We are willing to give the mom the kids so they can stay in their current school but I don't think she could handle it!! She hasn't had the kids and a job all in the same day for oooohhhh 6 years!!!! But now she's lawyering up and I guess I wonder why cause we offered her the kids full time and we get them on the weekends when they are in school and every second holiday. If she wasn't ok with that then they live with us and have to switch schools.

===== /QUOTE ====



Well... I see a few things here. It kinda sounds like you've already made up your mind, so you aren't going to like some of them...

When parents separate, the goal of the courts and the parents is theoretically to make the transition as easy on the children as possible and to make available to them the same resources as if the split never happened. In my opinion, when you agree to step in as the Step-Parent, you agree to these same rules and to love those children as your own. Furthermore, as nasty as the prospect might be, that woman who birthed those children becomes your family unit too. She might be akin to the aunt no one really cares for, but she still counts and gets consideration. These are the terms going in, and if you don't agree to behave accordingly, then you don't belong in that family unit.

In reality, when you offer her the kids full time, you have offered her nothing that is a viable option from her perspective. You might not like what she does or her schedule, but that is her reality and you are backing her into a corner and threatening her livelihood. What would you do if she told you when/how much YOU could work?? The fact that an undesirable BF is the alternate caregiver full-time when she is working just makes this even less of an offer. You can tell me what a deadbeat she is and how she never got a job until such and such a time and blah blah. It really doesn't change the present and your opinion of her doesn't make you right. Further, you suggesting the kids stay with her full time and endure the BF despite the emotional toll it takes on them belies the fact that you truly have their best interests at heart.

I do admire you taking on a crappy situation and extending your love to these kids. It takes a strong person. I really think you need to drop all the historical "she did this- didnt do that" crap and examine your true motives. It's extraneous and distracting to point out her past wrong behaviours and it could cost a pretty penny at the lawyers just to prove you are right.

Soooo... If High Level is as deadbeat as you say and the best option for the kids' future is a home in the country, then you need to ante up with a better offer that is realistic in Mom's perception. Let them stay in the same school and step up to driving when you have the kids if this move means that much to you. Is there a bussing option or a chance to meet Mom and have her drive them halfway?

I'm not saying that you are wrong about the Mom. I can't imagine why she stays in such a screwed up situation, but you are expending emotional energy rallying against a person who can't/won't change and giving away your power in the process.

Sometimes as adults we convince ourselves we are right, and back it up with all sortsa logical arguments but in the end we aren't truly being unselfish. It's a big girl panty thing and you need to do some soul-searching in this arena...

You do need to sit the kids down. Set the stage and explain that you only want what's best. They are old enough to understand and, if you reduce their fear of disappointing you by saying it doesn't matter what they say, as long as they participate in an honest discussion about the family's future,it will help them to open up. They might not know themselves what they want, but at least you can discuss the pros and cons. Maybe brainstorm some pros and cons with them and contribute cons yourself to show that it's ok to speak out with negative opinions?? Their opinion matters and you can't just move without it- it's not fair.

If you truly weigh your motives, the desires of the kids and your spouse's true feelings and come up with moving as the only option that suits, then set aside some cash and hire a lawyer ... But that should be a last resort.

Hope you don't hate me, but that's how I feel.

You know some people just kinda get it!! You are absolutely right. I have been trying to bully her with those options because we want the kids and ur right neither are an option for her and I guess I was hoping she'd cave and say "ok I will take weekends". I won't get into bashing her as it won't get me anywhere in courts or here.

High Level isn't thaaaat bad but there is allot of drunken bums and my(step) oldest has been bothered by them outside of cadets. And just another excuse to buy an acreage I have been selfish and not really seeing the whole perspective. I am so set on movin up and buying a place and nice little set up for ALL of us! U know pool, 6 bdrms checked out the schooling and got class averages I surely had my mind on good intentions for them as well I do want the best for these kids. I just get so determined when I have set my mind set on something that when I hit a wall like mamabear not wanting to lose her cubs I just wanna pull out the big guns!

I feel a bit cheated because I was the primary woman in these kids life for 2 years before mom decided to come around again......... I guess selfish again due to the whole birthing and mothering for the first 8 years she had under her belt before I ever came around. I know and respect this but maybe not as much as I should

I don't hate u mama.......... Maybe stomp my feet in a tantrum buut I think its what I needed to hear and I think its what any self respecting mother looking at it from a mothers POV would say. I need to consider her feelings more too. But I still feel that they are best to be with us full time and see her on the weekends........ At least until she gets it figured out!!
She had to call the cops just 10 days ago over one of their disputes!! What kind of Mother subjects their kids to that!?!?! I am so angry at what they go through when they are there. I have to ask why does it matter more to me then her??? How can you subject ur children to constant fighting and moms BF bullys them says chit like "don't u love you mom?" To make them feel bad for talking about their dad! They constantly bad mouth my BF so much so that the kids tell us but don't want to repeat what was said!!!

Well that's borderline bashing and ill stop because its useless. With that being said I'm gonna sleep on it and decide what this crazy girl is gonna do. Probably going to talk to a few of the lawyers and see what they think our chances would be for getting them full time and how much $$$$ we would have to spend.

I just wanna say we are willing to be more then reasonable I know I don't know more then maybe 1 or 2 peeps on here but anyone that does know us would tell u we are ready and willing to work on things. Mom is not............. Very difficult to have a new "family" member when they won't even talk to you........almost 5 years now and we have only spoke a handful of times, not for lack of trying. Makes thing extremely difficult and for me trying hard to communicate and be courteous to talk nice and say good things when the kids are upset over something that has gone on over there .............. I just wish it really was what goes around comes around.

Posted from my BlackBerry using BerryBlab

 

[SledMamma]

I am really happy to see you looking at the bigger picture and considering other points of view, even if you don't like them!!! I do see your point about wanting the acreage and wanting to improve your living standard at the same time. You have given up alot to be a Mom to kids who aren't your own, and to some degree you need to look after what is best for you too. Its the fine line that all parents walk- deciding when what is best for the adults supercedes what is best for the kids. If my kids had their way, I wouldn't work and I wouldn't go on sledding trips or do medical missions. But reality is that adults have needs too, and when those needs are unmet, it hinders our ability to parent with optimism, clarity and passion.

I guess what I am saying is that you really deserve a compromise that makes you happy and is good for the kids too. Last thing you need is to continue living in a rental situation, martyring yourself for the stepkids, while watching part-time Mom do whatever the hell she wants. You will end up bitter and single eventually.

The smartest thing I have heard mentioned by you and others on the forum is maybe finding a different acreage that is closer and requires less distance from the schools? I know its not ideal, but taking a paycut and finding a job that would flex travel and distance-wise with the new living arrangements is a good suggestion too. Sometimes the best paycheques are not monetary, and giving up the moola in favor of the lifestyle is the best paycheque you can give yourself.

Be careful about the Lawyer advice. Lawyers make money on the fight and therefore are less likely to dissuade you from pursuing this in court. Its a slippery slope and once you go down it, every fax, staple, phone call and peice of paper starts to cost you. One court appearance starts at about $3000 depending on the lawyer... that's a hefty amount towards a house downpayment or pool-boy!!

I know what its like to want to vent, but not cross the line to bashing... and it is tough to see the other side of the story when the other side is so clearly warped. We can all see that "Mom" needs her card pulled for the crap she's pulling, believe me. But a judge doesnt care. This thread has received lots of views and replies because these fights are so complicated and so common. It doesn't matter how black and white things are, DNA figures heavily into the equation and the Law only sees things in certain terms- your emotions and the reality of the situation take a major backseat.

I'm going to tell you my story because it illustrates how ridiculous things can become as far as the Law is concerned:

When I was younger I was very booksmart, but also very naive. I was in college and making money as a Budweiser Girl on the ProRodeo Circuit. I had never encountered the likes of cowboys and things got carried away. The day I wrote my medical college admission test (MCAT) I also took a pregnancy test. Yup, you guessed it: I passed. The guy was a complete con artist (go figure) and totally annoying to boot. By the time I took the test, I had become bored with him and given him the slip. Tough decisions followed that ended up with me and a beautiful baby girl.

I lived in BC, him in Alberta. When she was 6mos, Daddy dearest gave us an ultimatum: move to Alberta and give the family thing a try, or BEAT IT!! Packed up all my stuff, moved away from all my friends and family, and arrived at my new home: A blue ATCO shack with a red door in the middle of NOWHERE. NICE! All those stories about 'his trucking company' and 'big ranch' and 'horse-breeding program' were lies. I sucked it up, got 2 jobs, met new people, and hung in there. He was never home anyway.

He never changed a diaper. Never paid child support, bought groceries or paid utilities. Granted, he bought me a really nice Plymouth Sundance from one of his rodeo pals when I crashed my Mazda MX-6 Mystere into a moose. (He has since declared that amount and deducted it from the child support he owes!!) His idea of playing with her was tapping her in the middle of the forehead and calling her "Goober". Six months passed and I did some fast growing up. I decided I had had enough and ended things on New Year's Day, 2000. Found out later he cheated on me the day before I moved to Alberta. And again on her 1st birthday, with a stripper no less. In fact, he took up residence with this lesbian turned stripper for the next 4 years. NICER!!

Just to cover my ass, I went to a lawyer. I brought the lawyer all the T-4 statements and previous years tax returns, as well as investment portfolios, stock statements etc., The first words out of the lawyer's mouth was "How much do you want?" I didn't want anything, just a signed document giving me sole legal custody. Her father hadn't ever asked to see her and she was just about 2, so I figured there would be no contest. It took the lawyer a long time to stop trying to talk me into making sure we were taken care of and just draw up a simple agreement. I paid to have the agreement drawn up and Daddy answered back with demands of his own. WHAT???

One stipulation he wanted was that he be able to have access to her every other weekend and half of summer holidays when she turned Six. "Why Six?" I asked. His answer was that then she wouldn't be in diapers or need me so much. I was flabbergasted. I asked to have a clause included that would require him to get to know her in a graduated and escalatory fashion before he just marched in and took her for overnighters. He refused. This carried on and on and on. I was paying my lawyer, he had retained a friend and was receiving free legal services. It took me 5 years to pay off my lawyer in monthly increments when all was said and done. I was a single mom, asking for nothing, and going to school.

I did fight and freak out for the first little while. The phone would ring and I would jump for fear it was him. Calls from my lawyer gave me ulcers. I tried to speak to him rationally, but convincing him he had no real rights as a father was like trying to tell an insane person that the voices in their head are not real. I was just wasting my energy and turning into an emotional mess while he was just shaking it off, partying like a rockstar with his stripper girlfriend and laughing. It doesn't matter how right you are, it doesn't change anything.

I met and married a wonderful guy when my daughter was still tiny. She has never known another father. "Prince Charming" marches in twice a year with gifts and plays the hero. He never calls himself to arrange these visits- gets his mother to do it. Still doesn't pay support- which is fine because it keeps him distant and sheepish from me. He chose to move to Alaska nearly 3 years ago. So, when we decided this fall that we were going to move back home to Smithers, BC, I never really gave "him" much consideration. All my family lives there. My parents both have life threatening terminal diseases, we found a beautiful 6-acre parcel on the river with 7 beds and 5 baths. Why wouldn't we move??? WRONG!! He caught wind of the move and is threatening to contest it.

I'm not telling you this for pity. I got what I had coming and truly what I needed to go through in order to grow up and get common sense. Things happen for a reason. The sad reality is that I have no power to stop him. He donated DNA to a foolish girl and he now has a say in my future that I will pay for and answer to in court ... I can be the fierce Mama Bear and be right all I want and do my damndest to protect her from the most selfish man I have ever screwed, but the Law doesn't give two chits. You can get all the legal advice you want, but it won't solve the ethical and emotional dilemnas you face now and in the future.

Tread carefully and best of luck...

 

[scotts]

wish i could delete,, said some thing smartass before actully reading the previous posts.

 

[SledMamma]

wish i could delete,, said some thing smartass before actully reading the previous posts.

SHOCKER

 

[scotts]

SHOCKER

Shocker?? No that's when you have two in the p ......... Ohhhh!! You ment me blurting out a smartass remark.
For the record what i said was. " no kidding that kid got bothered comming out of cadets!!! What a bunch of dorks. Who doesn't bug them??!

 

[SledMamma]

Shocker?? No that's when you have two in the p ......... Ohhhh!! You ment me blurting out a smartass remark.
For the record what i said was. " no kidding that kid got bothered comming out of cadets!!! What a bunch of dorks. Who doesn't bug them??!

Nice of you to repeat it for us so we can all see for the umpteenth time how descriminatory and rude you can be at the drop of a dime.

 

[scotts]

Nice of you to repeat it for us so we can all see for the umpteenth time how descriminatory and rude you can be at the drop of a dime.

Hey cool, someone dropped dime.Yoink!!
Spare me the"call someone who cares" new material only please.

 

[Iron Horse Racing]

The more things change the more they stay the same……I have both hated and liked this saying…….
I travel around North America for work and have run into people with similar stories all over this and the country to the south…..For years I felt persecuted and alone, no one could really understand what I was feeling..I also jumped all over the stereo type that the system, the courts and the law was totally one-sided…

The more I learnt about the system and the more I listened to others…well it’s not one-sided, it’s just simply flawed with good intentions….as in if someone with bad intensions chooses to screw with it they can make your life a living hell, gender doesn’t really seem to matter. I have seen and heard of spouse taking advantage of the system from both gender’s, most of the time it’s just to be mean to the other party and don’t care or don’t see what harm it’s doing to the Kids…..

I fired two lawyers because they wanted to do nothing but throw mud at what is now my ex. I played the part of the standup guy that just said, no I didn’t want anything but my share of the time with the kids….the rest was …well it just didn’t matter, give what you want I don’t care….

Wow did I get schooled…. (This is of course once things had gone sideways and into court) by not going after her and after things, it was made to appear that I was only interested in making her look bad, I was blown away.

I made a promise to my kids that I would answer any questions as best I good and that I would never lie to them. It wasn’t always the easiest route to go, but in the long run they have all seen the people involved for who they are and their choices demonstrate that my choices were right.

Look into mediation; try real hard to involve the Mom in decisions and choices….it may take a lot of resveres on your part to pull that off, but in the long run will be better for all. Someone in your family circle needs to be the leader, needs to find the way that meets everyone’s needs, and does so making everyone feel they got what they wanted, and what they deserve, not easy to do, sounds impossible..

All that needs to be done so you don’t look like you are trying to control her or the situation, document the hell of out everything, phone calls, conversations, failed obligations, short and to the point notes about everything, a journal of your time with the kids.

Once a lawyer gets his hooks into her…..well if she is half the person you have described the lawyer will bring out the worst in her and life as you know it will change ….and you will spend money on lawyers that like the fight.

Paid for by the commitee that would like to see everyone just play nice and lawyers go broke. Lawyers as a last step....

 

[SledMamma]

The more things change the more they stay the same……I have both hated and liked this saying…….
I travel around North America for work and have run into people with similar stories all over this and the country to the south…..For years I felt persecuted and alone, no one could really understand what I was feeling..I also jumped all over the stereo type that the system, the courts and the law was totally one-sided…

The more I learnt about the system and the more I listened to others…well it’s not one-sided, it’s just simply flawed with good intentions….as in if someone with bad intensions chooses to screw with it they can make your life a living hell, gender doesn’t really seem to matter. I have seen and heard of spouse taking advantage of the system from both gender’s, most of the time it’s just to be mean to the other party and don’t care or don’t see what harm it’s doing to the Kids…..

I fired two lawyers because they wanted to do nothing but throw mud at what is now my ex. I played the part of the standup guy that just said, no I didn’t want anything but my share of the time with the kids….the rest was …well it just didn’t matter, give what you want I don’t care….

Wow did I get schooled…. (This is of course once things had gone sideways and into court) by not going after her and after things, it was made to appear that I was only interested in making her look bad, I was blown away.

I made a promise to my kids that I would answer any questions as best I good and that I would never lie to them. It wasn’t always the easiest route to go, but in the long run they have all seen the people involved for who they are and their choices demonstrate that my choices were right.

Look into mediation; try real hard to involve the Mom in decisions and choices….it may take a lot of reveres on your part to pull that off, but in the long run will be better for all. Someone in your family circle needs to be the leader, needs to find the way that meets everyone’s needs, and does so making everyone feel they got what they wanted, want they deserve, not easy to do, sounds impossible..

All that needs to be done so you don’t look like you are trying to control her or the situation, document the hell of out everything, phone calls, conversations, failed obligations, short and to the point notes about everything, a journal of your time with the kids.

Once a lawyer gets his hooks into her…..well if she is half the person you have described the lawyer will bring out the worst in her and life as you know it will change ….and you will spend money on layers that like the fight.

Paid for by the commitee that would like to see everyone just play nice and lawyers go broke. Lawyers as a last step....

Awesome Post. Rep!!

 

[mudd kitty]

First off MAMA thats crazy and makes me thankfull that im just in the situation im in and not knocked up myself!! Thanks for the advise I needed to hear. People around me know whats going on to the full extent and all say go for the gusto but it just won't and doesn't work that way and I needed to know that before spending umteen amounts of $$$$

For the record the mom actually called me this morning to see what I want to propose..I'm guessing her lawyer told her how much it'll cost to go through the courts. GOOD!!!!

And while looking for our lost dogs today(Oh the luck of the Irish lol) my man was talking to me and said "Hey why dont we switch the schedule so that its a week on a week off rather then 2." I CAN NOT believe this never occured to me his schd is a week on a week off and on his weeks off he can drive the kids no problem............ fawk what a chit show to come up with something so fricken easy..I said he has to walk out in the cold more often it must help his brain work!!

AND TO SCOTTS thats a really large native 17 yr old boy that you are calling a pu$$y or whatever your comment was. He is also an exceptional marksman soooo I would watch who you are messin with!! He could kick ur azz!!!:d


SO later on today we are going to sit down with the chicklettes and see how they would feel about that.....they would still have to spend one week with moms BF but thats better then 2. And she also said to me this morning that she would take them full time and that her BF would have them for 2 weeks(thats a backfire, didnt expect that one)....like seriously she is going to leave them with the guy that SHE had to call the cops on WTF!!!!! But either way at least she is now willing to talk. Hopefully we can come to an agreement. Wish me luck and thanks again guys for all the input

 

[scotts]

All my bullch!t aside, you still may be setting the kids up to be looked after by the Bf unless I misread. No disrepect to the awsome partners out there but In my discrimitory and rude opinion is not an option.

 

[SledMamma]

Hey cool, someone dropped dime.Yoink!!
Spare me the"call someone who cares" new material only please.

Hey old ballz... calls aren't 10cents anymore!! I know dinosaurs roamed the earth when you were in junior high, but try to keep up.

FYI, you probably needn't bother picking up the dime, cuz from what I hear your ex-wife has a kickass lawyer and will take half or most of it anyway :d:d:d Then you will be even further away from making that call.... Just some friendly advice.

 

[SledMamma]

First off MAMA thats crazy and makes me thankfull that im just in the situation im in and not knocked up myself!! Thanks for the advise I needed to hear. People around me know whats going on to the full extent and all say go for the gusto but it just won't and doesn't work that way and I needed to know that before spending umteen amounts of $$$$

For the record the mom actually called me this morning to see what I want to propose..I'm guessing her lawyer told her how much it'll cost to go through the courts. GOOD!!!!

And while looking for our lost dogs today(Oh the luck of the Irish lol) my man was talking to me and said "Hey why dont we switch the schedule so that its a week on a week off rather then 2." I CAN NOT believe this never occured to me his schd is a week on a week off and on his weeks off he can drive the kids no problem............ fawk what a chit show to come up with something so fricken easy..I said he has to walk out in the cold more often it must help his brain work!!

AND TO SCOTTS thats a really large native 17 yr old boy that you are calling a pu$$y or whatever your comment was. He is also an exceptional marksman soooo I would watch who you are messin with!! He could kick ur azz!!!:d


SO later on today we are going to sit down with the chicklettes and see how they would feel about that.....they would still have to spend one week with moms BF but thats better then 2. And she also said to me this morning that she would take them full time and that her BF would have them for 2 weeks(thats a backfire, didnt expect that one)....like seriously she is going to leave them with the guy that SHE had to call the cops on WTF!!!!! But either way at least she is now willing to talk. Hopefully we can come to an agreement. Wish me luck and thanks again guys for all the input

YAAAAAAAY!!!! Things are looking up. Hopefully she will agree to the change. Maybe if you poured on the sugar and eased her in gently, she would eventually be flexible enough to allow you to have the kids for her week if she is going to be away working anyway? Means more work for you some weeks, but the kids are worth it I think. That would eliminate the BF problem temporarily, until your marksman son can do it!!

 

[scotts]

How did you manage to type a post without inserting the term"medical mission"??? Or will it be In the edit.??
Shouldn't you be supervising young Christians insteand of tying up bandwidth with your autobiography??