TheLonelyIsland
Active VIP Member
i dont get it.
Joke of the Day
- Thread starter *xo*
- Start date
i dont get it.
shan
Active VIP Member
MY LIVING WILL..................
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state,dependent on some machine & fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
She's such a b!t(h.....
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state,dependent on some machine & fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
She's such a b!t(h.....
grnboyz
Active VIP Member
Why do condoms come in boxes 3,6,12
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,
"What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these
for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for
March......."
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,
"What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these
for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for
March......."
koby
Active VIP Member
How do you know your girlfriend is getting too fat?
........when she fits your wifes clothes
........when she fits your wifes clothes
One Shot Willie
Active member
sweeet!!
Mike270412
Golden Boy
How do you know your girlfriend is getting too fat?
........when she fits your wifes clothes
I just got slapped
arcticdodge
Active VIP Member
I just got slapped
X2:d
One Shot Willie
Active member
me thinks u got off easy...
tumblina
Active member
Sounds like another good reason not to get married!! 
Taminator
Active VIP Member
Sounds like another good reason not to get married!!
X2...I like being the 'girlfriend'...about 22 years now, I better like it
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
.
Taminator
Active VIP Member
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced " Please prepare for a crash landing ". The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first. The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well when they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will take me first.
The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well they always search for the black box first ?
The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well they always search for the black box first ?
Bruzer
Active member
Colonoscopy
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legsgot wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The a$$ hole is usually in charge
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legsgot wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The a$$ hole is usually in charge
Bruzer
Active member
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced " Please prepare for a crash landing ". The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first. The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well when they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will take me first.
The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well they always search for the black box first ?
Oh my gawd...too hilarious.
ktm 13-44
Active VIP Member
ewwwww!
seeing that you just made that sick picture yoru avatar made my day! hahaha
well played!!!
- Moderator
- #75
Bogger
Bogger of the GBCA
Why are men like clouds?
eventually they f@*k off and its a really nice day!!
Hmmmmm.................
One Shot Willie
Active member
tff!X2...I like being the 'girlfriend'...about 22 years now, I better like it
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
.
Earle blamed for Tigers divorce
Earle, Tigers father, is being blamed for the impending divorce.
Earle was Tiger's mentor, teacher and inspiration as he grew up and learned the game of golf.
Earle always told Tiger in order to be successful at golf he had to have his total concentration on the game and to screw everything else....
Earle, Tigers father, is being blamed for the impending divorce.
Earle was Tiger's mentor, teacher and inspiration as he grew up and learned the game of golf.
Earle always told Tiger in order to be successful at golf he had to have his total concentration on the game and to screw everything else....
shan
Active VIP Member
A Man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there , he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
The guy obeys and says, '99'!
The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, please take a deep breath and say, "99."
Again, the guy says, '99'!
The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your pen!s and your testicles, to keep them out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, "99"
The guy begins,
'One ... Two .... Three
When he gets there , he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
The guy obeys and says, '99'!
The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, please take a deep breath and say, "99."
Again, the guy says, '99'!
The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your pen!s and your testicles, to keep them out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, "99"
The guy begins,
'One ... Two .... Three
One Shot Willie
Active member
ha!!!:d
One Shot Willie
Active member
haha!:d:d
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