green-horn
Active VIP Member
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
A. They both like a tight seal.
Required: Sense of humor
- Thread starter albertagal500
- Start date
green-horn
Active VIP Member
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
green-horn
Active VIP Member
What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
- Moderator
- #1,004
To Be 6 Again!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she'd like to
have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall
of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside
down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six
again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you fuggin retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna
get it wrong.
________________________________________
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she'd like to
have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall
of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside
down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six
again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you fuggin retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna
get it wrong.
________________________________________
crazy_wheeler
Active VIP Member
A man calls home to his wife and says,
“Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3-day weekend? ....
And also, would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?
We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up..
Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asks.
Following the long weekend, he comes home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.
He says, 'Yes!
Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike.
He says, " But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies,
“I did. They're in your tackle box”.
Never,
Never, Never
try to outsmart a woman!!!
“Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3-day weekend? ....
And also, would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?
We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up..
Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asks.
Following the long weekend, he comes home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.
He says, 'Yes!
Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike.
He says, " But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies,
“I did. They're in your tackle box”.
Never,
Never, Never
try to outsmart a woman!!!
RETODD
Active VIP Member
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2008
- Messages
- 7,317
- Reaction score
- 210
- Location
- The business end of a Beer!
- Website
- www.valemountvacationrental.com
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike & asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level & beat you with experience.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in pu
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', & then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool & throw them fish.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head & a beer gut, & still think they are sexy.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president & 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
There's a fine line between cuddling & holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first & call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level & beat you with experience.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in pu
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', & then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool & throw them fish.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head & a beer gut, & still think they are sexy.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president & 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
There's a fine line between cuddling & holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first & call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
my mod
Active VIP Member
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2008
- Messages
- 1,188
- Reaction score
- 706
Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, upstairs now"
She looked at him and said "Ooh, you kinky b*stard"
He said "No, seriously, hockey is starting, now f**k off'!
She looked at him and said "Ooh, you kinky b*stard"
He said "No, seriously, hockey is starting, now f**k off'!
my mod
Active VIP Member
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2008
- Messages
- 1,188
- Reaction score
- 706
I was in my back yard trying to fly a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds,
then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, Mary is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'
I turned with a confused look on my face and said,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds,
then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, Mary is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'
I turned with a confused look on my face and said,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
Stillrockingabanshee
Active VIP Member
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.
One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife. One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven."
God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again."
"You can see him if you wish," God said. "I will give you the power to gaze into hell."
So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde.
The good brother turned to God and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell cannot be that bad."
God explained. "Things are not always as they seem. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn't."
As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.
One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife. One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven."
God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again."
"You can see him if you wish," God said. "I will give you the power to gaze into hell."
So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde.
The good brother turned to God and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell cannot be that bad."
God explained. "Things are not always as they seem. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn't."
whitegold
Active VIP Member
A son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
007sevens
Active VIP Member
Civic Lesson
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
007sevens
Active VIP Member
A man and his wife were driving home one cold night when the wife asks her Husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "OK, get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to keep warm?" the wife asks.
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
Giggling she asks, "But what about the smell?"
He replies, "Just hold his little nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with, Died at the scene.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "OK, get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to keep warm?" the wife asks.
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
Giggling she asks, "But what about the smell?"
He replies, "Just hold his little nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with, Died at the scene.
green-horn
Active VIP Member
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
green-horn
Active VIP Member
A young Arab asks his father:
- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?
It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !
- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !
- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !
Tell me, papa...
Yes, my son?
Why are we living in Alberta and still wearing all this ch!t?
- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?
It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !
- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?
It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !
- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?
These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !
Tell me, papa...
Yes, my son?
Why are we living in Alberta and still wearing all this ch!t?
whitegold
Active VIP Member
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing
to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas
almost immediately and with a regiment of regular doses you can
overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want
to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing
to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas
almost immediately and with a regiment of regular doses you can
overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want
to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
JaySimon
Active VIP Member
Chuck was thinking about what to get his father for his upcoming 75th birthday. After Chuck's mom died, his dad had seemed to get progressively more withdrawn and lonely with each passing day. Locked in a nursing home, without any contact beyond that of other elderly women, Chuck realized that the best thing he could get his dad was one last round of great sex. It was the least he could do for the man who raised him.
Two days later, Chuck's father was relaxing in his room watching Jeopardy and eating from a jar full of prunes when a beautiful woman walked in, tits popping out of her blouse and wearing a miniskirt that barely covered the bottom of her ass.
She took the lollipop out of her mouth and breathed "I'm here to give you super sex".
The old man thought for a second and said, "I'll take the soup."
Two days later, Chuck's father was relaxing in his room watching Jeopardy and eating from a jar full of prunes when a beautiful woman walked in, tits popping out of her blouse and wearing a miniskirt that barely covered the bottom of her ass.
She took the lollipop out of her mouth and breathed "I'm here to give you super sex".
The old man thought for a second and said, "I'll take the soup."
whitegold
Active VIP Member
Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
whitegold
Active VIP Member
WARNING.......THE MALE DATE DRUG!!
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
Many females use a date-drug on the market called 'Beer '.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'.In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer ' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
Many females use a date-drug on the market called 'Beer '.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'.In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer ' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.
RETODD
Active VIP Member
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2008
- Messages
- 7,317
- Reaction score
- 210
- Location
- The business end of a Beer!
- Website
- www.valemountvacationrental.com
A bloke walks into a Glasgow pub with a steering wheel on his crotch...sits down orders a pint. Barkeep says "hey, whats up with the wheel"? Guy says "I don't know but its driving me f**kin' nuts"
Phyer Phyter
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Billy Bob was sitting on the porch of the family farm one warm fall afternoon tipping a cool one with Skeeeter relaxing now that the crop was off and all was done. Soon the new neighbor strolls into the yard and introduces him self.
Tom the talker's the name. Talkin to animals the game.
Skeeeter says "Sheeeit no one can really talk to animals its all just a hoax."
"Well no, I can and I'll show you" Tom replies.
The German Shepard layin beside Billy Bob catches Toms eye. "Hey hound, how ya doing?" Shep lifts his head and says " Hey, Tom, Pretty good."
"These two treatin ya alright?" Queries Tom. "YA pretty good, I get fed 2wice a day and they let me eat all the gophers they shoot." Shep answers.
Tom looks around and spots a nice looking horse in the corral. Skeeeter pipes up..."No way, you aint makin a horse talk"
"Hey horsie hows life on the farm?"
"Eh, pretty good, I gotta nice saddle blanket and the furrier was just here so my hooves are darn comfortable too." Ed the horse answers
Well thats good what more can a horse ask for? Replies Talkin Tom. As he walks back to the porch he notices the sheep in the pen on the other side of the house...
Billy Bob jumps up and runs over and stops Tom in his tracks and says "Dont bother, SHEEP LIE!"
Tom the talker's the name. Talkin to animals the game.
Skeeeter says "Sheeeit no one can really talk to animals its all just a hoax."
"Well no, I can and I'll show you" Tom replies.
The German Shepard layin beside Billy Bob catches Toms eye. "Hey hound, how ya doing?" Shep lifts his head and says " Hey, Tom, Pretty good."
"These two treatin ya alright?" Queries Tom. "YA pretty good, I get fed 2wice a day and they let me eat all the gophers they shoot." Shep answers.
Tom looks around and spots a nice looking horse in the corral. Skeeeter pipes up..."No way, you aint makin a horse talk"
"Hey horsie hows life on the farm?"
"Eh, pretty good, I gotta nice saddle blanket and the furrier was just here so my hooves are darn comfortable too." Ed the horse answers
Well thats good what more can a horse ask for? Replies Talkin Tom. As he walks back to the porch he notices the sheep in the pen on the other side of the house...
Billy Bob jumps up and runs over and stops Tom in his tracks and says "Dont bother, SHEEP LIE!"
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