Legal advise!!

[mudd kitty]

Anyone on here a lawyer? I am in a predicament.
I'll lay it out and if anyone has some sound legal advise that doesnt include guns and pig farmers it would be muchly appreiciated.

My BF has 3 kids with his ex and they rotate on a 2 week basis between them and us as well on our two weeks she is out in camp as a band aid. We have found and want to buy property 50kms out of town so we would have to put them in a different school. I have made two different proposals to the mom 1: We have them full time and she can have weekends and when they arent in school and first pick on holidays. 2: Visa versa she has them full time and we get weekends and holidays.

She has declined to talk to me further and wants to go through a lawyer. Must have lots of $$$ to waste.....

What my question is can she force us to stay in town even when we are willing to give her the kids fulltime?And what the hell can I do about it??

Once again I think her problem is that for 2 weeks a month she is out of town so the kids would have to stay with her BF and he kinda sounds like a jerk off. I dont think that she wants the kids to stay with him and plans to try and stop us from moving can she do that?


HELP!!!

 

[JaySimon]

Why don't you ask the kids what they want?

 

[boots]

Get a lawyer asap. She cant make stay where you are 50 km is not that far. So far I have spent 6000 and it is worth it for me.

 

[mudd kitty]

Well the problem with asking the kids is that they tend to say what they think we want to hear. And really they are kids and its not up to them. But I do know they love their dad and their mom and would like to see both. I love these kids as well I have been step mommy for 4 years now and we get along very well but this is an adult problem so really asking them wont help much.

And I have a lawyer the same one that took 6 years to divorce them it was a no contest divorce he is a slacker and I think I will have to hire one from out of town because he also happens to be the only one that would deal with this in our town FAWK!!

 

[boots]

Good luck

 

[Bogger]

she can't make you stay where you are however she can insist that it is in the childrens best interests not to change schools....

Your options would be to move and arrange transport for the kids keeping the same living arrangement or stay where you are... or lawyer up and demand to keep the kids full time so they can go to school where you move too...50km is not far and the courts are getting better at weighing all sides...

How old are the kids? thier opinion does matter assuming they are old enough to have one.

I fought my ex to keep the kids in alberta (she wanted to move back east) in the end the courts ruled that alberta was home for the kids, born, raised, school etc.... I was willing to allow her perminant residance with them and I would get weekend time....

she moved back east anyway....

 

[magnet]

Get a lawyer asap. She cant make stay where you are 50 km is not that far. So far I have spent 6000 and it is worth it for me.

she cant make you stay. but if there is no "legal" agreement set up right now it is a really tough area as both have eqaul rights to the kids and if one is the instigater in the disagreement it wont fair to well when it makes it to court.
the wife and i went through this to the tune of 80g thats right 80 000. some days we wonder what the heck we were thinking lol but it was worth every penny , friggen kids liven my new truck, shop, sled, boat, qaud, lol j/k
if you need a good lawyer we can give you a contact number, he specializes in this area, his prices are reasonable, only reason was 80g was she had legal aid we were in court every freakin 6 months, as she would change lawyers and appeal every order. she has not seen the kids for 7 yrs now, no contact whatsoever, like i said he is good. pm if interested.
good luck.
you guys seem pretty negotiable on your part, just have to get her onside.

 

[scotts]

You can attemp to resolve the issue through court appointed mediation, this is providesd at no charge if I recall.Likely won't solve anything but worth a try.
Sorry to say but from the outside looking in and having first hand experience
You may be forcing her into a corner. One.in my opinion the BF situation is a no brainer. Flat out unaceptable. I can see how she would want her weeks with them, as we share a week on week off.maybe be in the best interest of the kids if the mom isn't a skid that your move doesn't happen.
I bought a house two blocks from the ex and most of the time it really sucks for me, but the kids come and go and stay at either house during the others week.
She can block you in as much as forcing a judge to decide on the custody issues and then everybodys mind is made up for them .. Sorry

 

[mudd kitty]

10 , 12 , 17 and they have all said that they do not want to have to stay with theirs moms BF and that they would like it to stay how it is. They also arent thrilled about changing schools. Kids are never thrilled about change and I know in the end they will appreciate having the farm.

Its a 6 bdrm 50 acre home beautiful. Swimming pool and right along the river! I mean it doesnt get much better then that. They all love to go qauding with us as well as camping. They just dont want to leave their friends. The reason it would have to change is they would have to take the bus to the school in our region because our schedules dont work so that we can get them to and from school in town.

As well until june last year the mom didnt even take the kids. So we made her pay child support and she decided that it would be convient to take them now that she actually had to pay. I dont bad mouth her to the kids but man oh man selfish is the word!! I cant even count the number of times I had them ready to see her she is supposed to pick them up at a certain time so they are all ready waiting and she doesnt show....now that hasnt happened in the last year so kudos to her...but its not fair!! That sound so childish but thats how I feel! She can come around when its good for her. But we want to better ourselfs and stop paying rent and own a house with land and we have to jump through fawking hoops to do it!!!!

 

[mudd kitty]

she cant make you stay. but if there is no "legal" agreement set up right now it is a really tough area as both have eqaul rights to the kids and if one is the instigater in the disagreement it wont fair to well when it makes it to court.
the wife and i went through this to the tune of 80g thats right 80 000. some days we wonder what the heck we were thinking lol but it was worth every penny , friggen kids liven my new truck, shop, sled, boat, qaud, lol j/k
if you need a good lawyer we can give you a contact number, he specializes in this area, his prices are reasonable, only reason was 80g was she had legal aid we were in court every freakin 6 months, as she would change lawyers and appeal every order. she has not seen the kids for 7 yrs now, no contact whatsoever, like i said he is good. pm if interested.
good luck.
you guys seem pretty negotiable on your part, just have to get her onside.

We have been very very very resonable we set the current dates so that it works for her she had to call the cops on her BF just the night before the kids came back last aaaand about a month ago the 12 yr old ran away from her house and showed up at our place crying. We called her and told her that he was at our place and she shoudl come to get him. He didnt want to go because he said he has had enough of her BF chit. She actually said and I qoute " Why should I have to change my whole life for them" Implying that she is not going to leave her man and she doesnt really care what the kids think. I cant believe she said that!!! So I just feel that my lawyer should have brought all this into consideration.

I have been trying to communicate with her via phone and txt but she said she is going through a lawyer so I guess that ends that choice.

 

[Bogger]

Unfortunate as it is you may be forced to suck it up for a while and keep status-quo.

Kids want it to stay and at 10, 12 & 17 they do have a say.
mom wants it to stay and she is 50% of the "adult" opinion.

so you need to sway either the mom or the kids in order to have a majority..

My kids moved from lamont to edmonton when thier mom left, new living situation was dad, step-mom, and 2 older step-sisters...
Before we bought the acreage we sat down with all the kids and made sure everyone was on-board first, they were 5, 11, 13 & 15 at the time and if there was not a majority we would have sucked it up and stayed put.

Like scotts said, I'm sure living next to the ex is no pick-nic but at this point in your life it has to be whats best for the kids and unfortunately thats not always whats best for you...

 

[JaySimon]

She actually said and I qoute " Why should I have to change my whole life for them" Implying that she is not going to leave her man and she doesnt really care what the kids think. I cant believe she said that!!!

IMO you are doing something very similar with where YOU want to live.

 

[magnet]

10 , 12 , 17 and they have all said that they do not want to have to stay with theirs moms BF and that they would like it to stay how it is. They also arent thrilled about changing schools. Kids are never thrilled about change and I know in the end they will appreciate having the farm.

Its a 6 bdrm 50 acre home beautiful. Swimming pool and right along the river! I mean it doesnt get much better then that. They all love to go qauding with us as well as camping. They just dont want to leave their friends. The reason it would have to change is they would have to take the bus to the school in our region because our schedules dont work so that we can get them to and from school in town.

As well until june last year the mom didnt even take the kids. So we made her pay child support and she decided that it would be convient to take them now that she actually had to pay. I dont bad mouth her to the kids but man oh man selfish is the word!! I cant even count the number of times I had them ready to see her she is supposed to pick them up at a certain time so they are all ready waiting and she doesnt show....now that hasnt happened in the last year so kudos to her...but its not fair!! That sound so childish but thats how I feel! She can come around when its good for her. But we want to better ourselfs and stop paying rent and own a house with land and we have to jump through fawking hoops to do it!!!!

the ex used to do the same thing, friday night yes i will meet you a spot "x" at time 'Y" as we lived 2.5hrs away. we would then drive to meether to let her have her weekend with the boy, she wouldn't show up, we would wait for 1-2hrs after said meet time, chit happens right may nhave a good excuse for being late, the whole time 2yr old boy is maybe thats her to every vehicle. hard when you see the disapointment in their eyes. leave and head back home pizzed off big time of course drove 5 friggen hrs for f all. usually about 2-3 hrs after we get home the phone would ring where the f are you its my weekend. so only what 5-6 hrs late. arrgh.

 

[mudd kitty]

IMO you are doing something very similar with where YOU want to live.

Yah u might think so but its not. I love these kids or I woulda said fawk it and left and they can deal with their problems cause it aint mine!!! No not the same at all...she wants the kids to deal with her problems not solve it so its better for them...and it would be better have u ever been to high level?? We have a bum problem and drunks and vandals and theres sweet fawk all for kids to do. The farm will teach them more responsibility as well as some sacrifices yah now they cant go for a "walk" as easliy to smoke and whatever else they are doing.And I still plan on getting them in for their soccer, boxing and cadets as well the school I want them to go to has better class averages as well as some extra ciricular stuff they can join. They are getting older the oldest is out of school next year. I am also only 9 years older then the oldest so I know that when the time comes they wont be living with either parent they will be on their own and where will we be then? A block away from their mom rather then 50kms on an acreage. I dont see the comparison here so please refrain from making assumptions.

 

[Summitric]

There are several lawyers on the site here...... Barefooter is the first one that comes to mind....... You might send him a pm??

 

[Summitric]

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WOW......LOTSA INTEREST IN THIS

 

[mudd kitty]

the ex used to do the same thing, friday night yes i will meet you a spot "x" at time 'Y" as we lived 2.5hrs away. we would then drive to meether to let her have her weekend with the boy, she wouldn't show up, we would wait for 1-2hrs after said meet time, chit happens right may nhave a good excuse for being late, the whole time 2yr old boy is maybe thats her to every vehicle. hard when you see the disapointment in their eyes. leave and head back home pizzed off big time of course drove 5 friggen hrs for f all. usually about 2-3 hrs after we get home the phone would ring where the f are you its my weekend. so only what 5-6 hrs late. arrgh.

At least urs eventually showed up. I would take them sleeping out of their snow suits and put them to bed.....she wouldnt call or even have an excuse. I guess I just think I should have more right then I do. And yes I would like the name of ur lawyer....Looks as though we will have to anti up for the play!
And I am being selfish in this move but I do know when they are older that they will appreciate being able to come home to the farm rather then a house in town.

 

[scotts]

Likely alot of us on here are living with similar circumstances or staring it in The face.. People who are married and in love with their spouse and their family's are all together are truely the luckiest people on earth

 

[JaySimon]

So you don't see a problem with pulling a kid out of his last year of highschool and putting him into a new one?

Dude spent 3 years learning, growing and having fun with his friends, and now won't be able to grad with them.

Sorry for making assumptions, just going on what you had posted, I've been through this as the kid, and it sucked.

 

[magnet]

Likely alot of us on here are living with similar circumstances or staring it in The face.. People who are married and in love with their spouse and their family's are all together are truely the luckiest people on earth

exc. quote scotts. took a while and a few bucks but we, the family, got it pretty good now i think.