Required: Sense of humor
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whitegold
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whitegold
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this is not really a "funny", but it is pretty cool.... just double click anywhere on the pic to zoom in....
Gigapixel.com - 2011 Stanley Cup Game 7 Canucks Fan Zone
Gigapixel.com - 2011 Stanley Cup Game 7 Canucks Fan Zone
I wonder how many gigapixels that pic is.
whitegold
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BEFORE THE RIOT version 1 - The Vancouver Canucks Fan Zone along Georgia St. for Game 7 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final was captured at 5:46 pm on June 15, 2011. It is made up of 216 photos (12 across by 18 down) stitched together, taken over a 15-minute span, and is not supposed to represent a single moment in time. The final hi-res file is 69,394 X 30,420 pixels or 2,110 megapixels. Special thanks to Bonita Howard and CBC Real Estate.
TURN OFF GigaTag. View Version 2 (without GigaTag) taken at 6:02pm
LOTS!!!!
TURN OFF GigaTag. View Version 2 (without GigaTag) taken at 6:02pm
LOTS!!!!
Summiteer
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Not many of them smiling though......
SHIFTmx
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whitegold
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Generations...
- People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation.
- People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers.
- People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X.
- And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y.
Why do we call the last group Generation Y?
-Y should I get a job?
-Y should I leave home and find my own place?
-Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
-Y should I clean my room?
-Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
-Y should I buy any food?
But a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below...
Pretty much says it all don’t you think ????
- People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation.
- People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers.
- People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X.
- And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y.
Why do we call the last group Generation Y?
-Y should I get a job?
-Y should I leave home and find my own place?
-Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
-Y should I clean my room?
-Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
-Y should I buy any food?
But a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below...
Pretty much says it all don’t you think ????
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green-horn
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An Irish man walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says....
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep,
Not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bit__,
You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep,
Not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bit__,
You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."
green-horn
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Towards the end of the golf course, Tom hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch..
All of a sudden . . .. POOF!!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature!"
"Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?" Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life .. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF! . . . she was gone!
After Tom recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."
Tom shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!'
All of a sudden . . .. POOF!!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature!"
"Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?" Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life .. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF! . . . she was gone!
After Tom recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."
Tom shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!'
green-horn
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A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
Sh!t...
I forgot what I was going to say...
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my mod
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Why She Changed Motels
Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.
"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"
He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.
"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"
He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
my mod
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President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York .
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of ch!t it can no longer fly.
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of ch!t it can no longer fly.
my mod
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sign posted at a golf club:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE!! NOW.......FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE!! NOW.......FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
my mod
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WRONG BITCH
The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire
length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a
well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken
by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have
that seat?"
The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans
are so rude. My precious little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available
was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the
wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And
now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”
The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire
length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a
well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken
by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have
that seat?"
The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans
are so rude. My precious little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available
was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the
wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And
now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”
whitegold
Active VIP Member
Just what is the single major cause of the most
accidents on city streets?
Let me clue you in before you try to guess:
It is:
Ø NOT CELL PHONES.
Ø NOT THE RADIO.
Ø NOT THE GPS MONITOR
Ø NOT TALKING.
Ø NOT TEXTING.
Ø NOT CHANGING CD's.
THE MOST FREQUENT CAUSES OF TRAFFIC
ACCIDENTS IN OUR CITIES ARE:
You guessed it!
Inappropriate footwear!
I know... I was surprised too!!!!
accidents on city streets?
Let me clue you in before you try to guess:
It is:
Ø NOT CELL PHONES.
Ø NOT THE RADIO.
Ø NOT THE GPS MONITOR
Ø NOT TALKING.
Ø NOT TEXTING.
Ø NOT CHANGING CD's.
THE MOST FREQUENT CAUSES OF TRAFFIC
ACCIDENTS IN OUR CITIES ARE:
You guessed it!
Inappropriate footwear!
I know... I was surprised too!!!!
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underdog
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whitegold
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***************************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
actuall case document!!
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at
her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
again..
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when
the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her
condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The
Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to
smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly
contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
.... I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!'
Now keep that smile on your face and pass it
on ![FONT='times new roman', 'new york', times, serif]
[/FONT]
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at
her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
again..
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when
the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her
condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The
Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to
smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly
contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
.... I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!'
Now keep that smile on your face and pass it
on ![FONT='times new roman', 'new york', times, serif]
[/FONT]
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