Chuck norris

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never &#$ks up.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

 

[Scuba]

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

 

[Scuba]

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

 

[Scuba]

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

 

[Scuba]

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

 

[Scuba]

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the $%#k Chuck Norris is.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

 

[Scuba]

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris used to beat the chit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

 

[Scuba]

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

 

[Scuba]

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

 

[Scuba]

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

 

[Scuba]

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

 

[Sofa king]

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer....... too bad he never cries