Chuck norris

[hilinerider]

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

 

[hilinerider]

chuck norris made a new species,

he upper cut a horse,

its now called a giraffe

 

[ZEDNECK]

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity........ twice

 

[ZEDNECK]

If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. forever.

 

[ZEDNECK]

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

 

[maxwell]

chuck norris can kill 2 stones with one bird

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

 

[ZEDNECK]

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.

 

[ZEDNECK]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

 

[ZEDNECK]

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

 

[boydo]

chuck norris invented black. in fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. except pink. tom cruise invented pink.

 

[boydo]

chuck norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks

 

[boydo]

google wont search for chuck norris because it knows you dont find chuck norris

 

[boydo]

chuck norris kicked neo out of zion, now neo is known as "the two"

 

[bengp1]

chuck norris is currently suing the makers of bubble tape because 6 feet of fun is the trademark name for his penis