Chuck norris

[jeremy8]

Chucks testicles don't produce sperm. They make tiny white ninjas with one mission: SEEK & DESTROY

 

[Orrin]

Chuck Norris doesn't go sleddin in the mountains, he stays where he's at and the mountains come to him.

 

[sledderdoc]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUCK!!!

 

[scotts]

Chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

 

[jeremy8]

Broke Back Mountain is not just a movie. Its also the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck's front yard.

 

[polarsledhead]

jesus walks on water but chuck norris walks on jesus

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

[Scuba]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

 

[Scuba]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

[gforce]

Chuck Norris is tougher than a two dollar steak......unfortunatly not as tough as my ex's burgers

 

[Scuba]

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take chit from anyone.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

 

[Scuba]

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

 

[Scuba]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.