Teenage Daughter Problem

[Pistonbroke]

Not single....

finally tagged and bagged that cougar next door bud?

 

[ferniesnow]

Not single....

here comes another chapter in the book of life!

 

[Showtime]

Oh boy this thread freaks me out, my red headed 7 yr old will give me just as much grief im sure.

 

[SledMamma]

I was kind of a wolf back then, but I was kryptonited by one young lady. I was 16, she 15, but for some reason she had ALL the power. I was a regualr at their dinner table, her parents treated me with respect, as I them, I wasn't the devil, but a bundle of hormones, nontheless. I had the shiny car, and thought I was all that and a bag of zesties, but still, her parents had given her the power and self esteem that trumped everything. Everything was on her terms, and it confused me "why was I so outdone by this one"? We dated throughout high school, and even though we went our separate ways, I remember the power of her resolve. I dated alot, and eventually was only stopped dead in my tracks when I met my wife who has the same "power".... self respect, confidence, and she don't take chit from nobody. Your best weapon is infact your daughter. Give her the tools to weild "the POWER", and you might be supprised that the chips fall in your favour. Man, I miss that car.....

First: What is a "bag of zesties"?

Second: Awesome post. I will be showing it to my daughter. We have done our best to instil this "power" in our daughter, but some days it seems like her brain has been kidnapped by aliens, along with her self esteem and common sense... The media and peer pressure go a long way in sidetracking an otherwise confident but hormonal teenager I tell ya

 

[Cyle]

finally tagged and bagged that cougar next door bud?

I think it's more she caught me but either way I'm not complaining :d :d

 

[MOMMA]

I think it's more she caught me but either way I'm not complaining :d :d

You have to watch those cougars.. I've heard they can be pretty cagey

 

[Snow Angel]

my daughter is single.........heeheehee........ Jus' sayin'

she's always lookin' for a good boyfriend........ Gotta be summitric approved though

You getting a new salesman to?

You approved Trent, the quiz can't be that tough....

Haha thanks for volunteering me out there old man... Good to know I can count on you to be my matchmaker... *shudder*
It's not as easy as getting daddy approved as you'd think though (;

Good example of relationships between parent and kid though. I don't have any of my own (thank god)... But I know what it's like to be in the role of so-called "Teenage Daughter Problems" since I was the cause. The thing I learned that has stuck with me for a lot of years is that even though I may have hated some of the decisions my parents made FOR me regarding boyfriends, it was the best decision they could have made at the time because now I see that they were only looking out for me. Maybe I despised them at the time for not letting me drive 75kms to my ex-boyfriends ranch at 10 PM at night when I was 15 with a brand new license... And maybe I hated that my mama would be brutally honest with me and tell me a guy I like is a doochebag and she doesn't want me to see him... But through everything, my parents taught me that communication is the best thing that you can do... Next to being honest. Especially considering I lied to them, told them I was going to a friends house in the city for the evening, but instead went to my boyfriends house... 45 minutes away on a major highway. That resulted in me driving home alone at 2 AM, in the dark, alone on a highway (with a new license) and getting myself into an accident. It may not have been the boyfriends fault because it was MY decision to go... But after I had lied, what excuse was I supposed to make up regarding that scary accident?? I had to come clean and from there on out, I decided that my parents are obviously only looking out for me. I can definitely say that from 15 to 21, even in that couple of years, whenever I look back, I can say my parents were only looking out for me and doing what's best for ME. Not because they didn't want me to be happy, but because they love me. There have been times that both my parents didn't approve of a new boyfriend, or guy I liked, and I would always get the lectures, or in some cases disapproval, and it would make me resent them... But one thing I know now is that parents ALWAYS know best. And it's been proved to me time and time again.
Every 13, 14, 15 year old thinks they know everything about relationships, how they feel towards someone, etc. But no one knows them better than their parents - especially when they see a horny 16 year old just wanting a piece. Just remember you ARE doing the right thing when you put your foot down and say no, and it might suck for a little because it will feel like your kid despises you and you obviously just want them to know that you just want to protect them. It'll take time for them to stop holding a grudge and EVENTUALLY they WILL realize your motives behind your decision to say no.
My point is... Over the years I've learned that my parents know a lot more than I do, and in turn - even though some of their rules seemed ridiculous at the time - I learned to trust them, seeing as how they always ended up right, and I always ended up wrong. I'm old enough NOW to make my own decisions and choices, but I often turn to my parents for advise because I know their insight is most likely better than mine and because they never did me wrong. It went from me feeling like they were against me, to being able to communicate and be honest, to fully trusting them and coming back for advise. Everything you do NOW, will reflect a positive outcome in the future.

Cheers and good luck with all those so called charming boys with alternative motives out there. Doochbagz. (;

 

[Summitric]

haha thanks for volunteering me out there old man... Good to know i can count on you to be my matchmaker... *shudder*
it's not as easy as getting daddy approved as you'd think though (;

good example of relationships between parent and kid though. I don't have any of my own (thank god)... But i know what it's like to be in the role of so-called "teenage daughter problems" since i was the cause. The thing i learned that has stuck with me for a lot of years is that even though i may have hated some of the decisions my parents made for me regarding boyfriends, it was the best decision they could have made at the time because now i see that they were only looking out for me. Maybe i despised them at the time for not letting me drive 75kms to my ex-boyfriends ranch at 10 pm at night when i was 15 with a brand new license... And maybe i hated that my mama would be brutally honest with me and tell me a guy i like is a doochebag and she doesn't want me to see him... But through everything, my parents taught me that communication is the best thing that you can do... Next to being honest. Especially considering i lied to them, told them i was going to a friends house in the city for the evening, but instead went to my boyfriends house... 45 minutes away on a major highway. That resulted in me driving home alone at 2 am, in the dark, alone on a highway (with a new license) and getting myself into an accident. It may not have been the boyfriends fault because it was my decision to go... But after i had lied, what excuse was i supposed to make up regarding that scary accident?? I had to come clean and from there on out, i decided that my parents are obviously only looking out for me. I can definitely say that from 15 to 21, even in that couple of years, whenever i look back, i can say my parents were only looking out for me and doing what's best for me. Not because they didn't want me to be happy, but because they love me. There have been times that both my parents didn't approve of a new boyfriend, or guy i liked, and i would always get the lectures, or in some cases disapproval, and it would make me resent them... But one thing i know now is that parents always know best. And it's been proved to me time and time again.
Every 13, 14, 15 year old thinks they know everything about relationships, how they feel towards someone, etc. But no one knows them better than their parents - especially when they see a horny 16 year old just wanting a piece. Just remember you are doing the right thing when you put your foot down and say no, and it might suck for a little because it will feel like your kid despises you and you obviously just want them to know that you just want to protect them. It'll take time for them to stop holding a grudge and eventually they will realize your motives behind your decision to say no.
My point is... Over the years i've learned that my parents know a lot more than i do, and in turn - even though some of their rules seemed ridiculous at the time - i learned to trust them, seeing as how they always ended up right, and i always ended up wrong. I'm old enough now to make my own decisions and choices, but i often turn to my parents for advise because i know their insight is most likely better than mine and because they never did me wrong. It went from me feeling like they were against me, to being able to communicate and be honest, to fully trusting them and coming back for advise. Everything you do now, will reflect a positive outcome in the future.

Cheers and good luck with all those so called charming boys with alternative motives out there. Doochbagz. (;

my baby girl ........... Love ya, girley ........


See, that right there is why i have grey hair......... Raise a beautiful girl, and keep a shotgun at the front door

 

[ferniesnow]

Snow Angel, that was right on the money. It would be nice if young teenagers could have that knowledge and believe that knowledge when they need it instead of being the know-it-all little antagonizer they often are.

 

[Snow Angel]

my baby girl ........... Love ya, girley ........


See, that right there is why i have grey hair......... Raise a beautiful girl, and keep a shotgun at the front door

No pa, hate to break it to ya but you have grey hair because you're... Getting old...

 

[Snow Angel]

Snow Angel, that was right on the money. It would be nice if young teenagers could have that knowledge and believe that knowledge when they need it instead of being the know-it-all little antagonizer they often are.

I'd have to say though... I think I'm still a know-it-all little antagonizer..............

 

[Snohog]

Wow that is scary... Let alone very very creepy. I remember being 16. Back in the day dating a 13 year old never even crossed you mind!!!! she probably doesn't know what she's getting her self in to. The young guys these days are real dicks, then they see you daughter and are the sweetest person you ever met. That is till they have your daughter then it's a trip through hell

 

[ferniesnow]

I'd have to say though... I think I'm still a know-it-all little antagonizer..............

once in awhile, when you forget the oil and then calm down a little, you realize and you mentioned this in your post, that most people are there to help!

 

[MOMMA]

Haha thanks for volunteering me out there old man... Good to know I can count on you to be my matchmaker... *shudder*
It's not as easy as getting daddy approved as you'd think though (;

Good example of relationships between parent and kid though. I don't have any of my own (thank god)... But I know what it's like to be in the role of so-called "Teenage Daughter Problems" since I was the cause. The thing I learned that has stuck with me for a lot of years is that even though I may have hated some of the decisions my parents made FOR me regarding boyfriends, it was the best decision they could have made at the time because now I see that they were only looking out for me. Maybe I despised them at the time for not letting me drive 75kms to my ex-boyfriends ranch at 10 PM at night when I was 15 with a brand new license... And maybe I hated that my mama would be brutally honest with me and tell me a guy I like is a doochebag and she doesn't want me to see him... But through everything, my parents taught me that communication is the best thing that you can do... Next to being honest. Especially considering I lied to them, told them I was going to a friends house in the city for the evening, but instead went to my boyfriends house... 45 minutes away on a major highway. That resulted in me driving home alone at 2 AM, in the dark, alone on a highway (with a new license) and getting myself into an accident. It may not have been the boyfriends fault because it was MY decision to go... But after I had lied, what excuse was I supposed to make up regarding that scary accident?? I had to come clean and from there on out, I decided that my parents are obviously only looking out for me. I can definitely say that from 15 to 21, even in that couple of years, whenever I look back, I can say my parents were only looking out for me and doing what's best for ME. Not because they didn't want me to be happy, but because they love me. There have been times that both my parents didn't approve of a new boyfriend, or guy I liked, and I would always get the lectures, or in some cases disapproval, and it would make me resent them... But one thing I know now is that parents ALWAYS know best. And it's been proved to me time and time again.
Every 13, 14, 15 year old thinks they know everything about relationships, how they feel towards someone, etc. But no one knows them better than their parents - especially when they see a horny 16 year old just wanting a piece. Just remember you ARE doing the right thing when you put your foot down and say no, and it might suck for a little because it will feel like your kid despises you and you obviously just want them to know that you just want to protect them. It'll take time for them to stop holding a grudge and EVENTUALLY they WILL realize your motives behind your decision to say no.
My point is... Over the years I've learned that my parents know a lot more than I do, and in turn - even though some of their rules seemed ridiculous at the time - I learned to trust them, seeing as how they always ended up right, and I always ended up wrong. I'm old enough NOW to make my own decisions and choices, but I often turn to my parents for advise because I know their insight is most likely better than mine and because they never did me wrong. It went from me feeling like they were against me, to being able to communicate and be honest, to fully trusting them and coming back for advise. Everything you do NOW, will reflect a positive outcome in the future.

Cheers and good luck with all those so called charming boys with alternative motives out there. Doochbagz. (;

I just love you Court! xoxoxo Thank you for sharing.

 

[Mike270412]

You gotta put oil in them things?

once in awhile, when you forget the oil and then calm down a little, you realize and you mentioned this in your post, that most people are there to help!

 

[white6]

Courts right in many ways for sure! You need to look out for her best interest bc she is still young and learning. It will rip your heart out to hear her cry, but just remind yourself she will be better for it.I think all young girls get the wool pulled over there eyes by 'sweetness' at least once. I myself wasn't so quick to catch on, or perhaps just looked for the better in others (ya lets go with that one). It's gonna take a heartbreak for it to set in, if not several. Just like sledmamma is dealing with. And your gonna wanna strangle the boy who breaks it whether its once or time and time again, but you also cant do that. You need to support her and be there, as this is the 'learning' part, we bawl we sob we mope, just be our dad. Do the things that make us smile and laugh like no one else can do for us. Make time to spend with us and take us away from the house, distract us.

And no matter how great you think your communication is, or that it really is, she's going to lie to you about a boy / seeing a boy / being with a boy at least once as well. Several of you have pointed to the boy saying he would look at 'no' as a challenge, but it will likely spite your daughter as well. I know I did at least once. But it only took one or two majorly embarassing screw ups to realize in short order when it started again that it wasnt worth hiding. Id come clean pretty quick and just deal with it all then. My parents were incredible, open approachable honest, but looking back i feel like i slapped them for all the times I thought I knew better, or insisted that i did. For the times that I lied and did what I knew I wasn't supposed to do. I still believe you will have to let her make her own mistakes, thats how we get 'experience' in life and 'remember' our lessons for the next time. But 13 is not the time for that. She needs more help now, especially so young and getting started. But realize that your slowly going to have to let go a bit, trust and let her make mistakes even when you forsee them. Just stop them from being trenches when they should only be cracks.

Several also gasp at 13-16. I don't find that quite as shocking. I wasn't there at 13 but 14-15 it was quite common for girls to be with guys 1-2 years older. All through highschool it was this way. It seemed to be where the maturity levels were equal. Encourage her into group settings and be prepared for more than this encounter with older guys. Just keep it in check at a smaller year range. Yes it is but isnt big during the teenage years. Look at it from her perspective. And also on an guy to guy basis. If they clique really well let it ride, if hes gonna be a really bad influence, nip it in the bud asap. Best way for you to have some control, influence, and respect in the matter is to have the guy around your home. For dinner, giving you a hand outside, family time and even slight alone time for them (movie in living room ie). We're young and nieve but not completely oblivious to the hormonal desires of guys. Empower your daughter as was recently mentioned to have the self esteem, self respect, and happiness with her self that she does not need a man or the attention to make her happy / feel good (this I faltered at, at no fault of my parents). She needs to be good with herself and have a good network of friends around her. Keep her active, social, and both involved in your lives as well as her own. Like court said one day its gonna flip around to her asking you for advice, her inviting you to go do things with her. Your soon moving into the 'doing things w mom n dad' arent so cool zone. so the better you make the relationship now the shorter that time frame will last. I love going camping, spending time, playing games, and going riding with my family. I talk to both my parents on the phone at least once a day, plus texting, and we live about 5min apart. They leave town for a week and i'm calling them saying 'hello? did you forget about me? when are you coming homeeeeeee!?'

Love is hard but the battle will be worth it. Hope my rambles made a bit of sense haha

 

[overkill131313]

FB....let your daughter read this thread......maybe she wont think your the ass hole if she reads that every single person is trying to give the same advice as you!

I once had a dad take me out back behind his house.......he was holding a gun doing some target practace in the back field.....major freek out.......he asked me what my intentions where with his daughter......I asked him nicely if the gun was to scare me.....he went quiet when I grabbed the end off the rifle and put it in my mouth and started mumbling something..........his eyes were bigger than mine and pulls the gun back to him and said what did you say? well I was thinking I want to say, "I will take her out for dinner and stuff a steak in her mouth......F%^K the chit out of her and have her back by 11.......but my exact words were....."what time do you want her back by?" LMAO

I beat my ex wife's dad in a street race....and not a staionwagon VS my beater.....it was an all out race.....so to make a long story short, I was the bad ass that kicked her dads ass! after that she want me more than ever! I always had respect for the dads but I was always on the edge!

Im glad I have just one dick (son) to worry about...... and not every dick in town to worry about!

take the kid out back and nail his bag to a barn door.......hand him a rusty knife but set the barn on fire first.......your daughter will be safer after he heals up! lol

let her read all of this! at that age they are blind!

 

[Snow Angel]

FB....let your daughter read this thread......maybe she wont think your the ass hole if she reads that every single person is trying to give the same advice as you!

I once had a dad take me out back behind his house.......he was holding a gun doing some target practace in the back field.....major freek out.......he asked me what my intentions where with his daughter......I asked him nicely if the gun was to scare me.....he went quiet when I grabbed the end off the rifle and put it in my mouth and started mumbling something..........his eyes were bigger than mine and pulls the gun back to him and said what did you say? well I was thinking I want to say, "I will take her out for dinner and stuff a steak in her mouth......F%^K the chit out of her and have her back by 11.......but my exact words were....."what time do you want her back by?" LMAO

I beat my ex wife's dad in a street race....and not a staionwagon VS my beater.....it was an all out race.....so to make a long story short, I was the bad ass that kicked her dads ass! after that she want me more than ever! I always had respect for the dads but I was always on the edge!

Im glad I have just one dick (son) to worry about...... and not every dick in town to worry about!

take the kid out back and nail his bag to a barn door.......hand him a rusty knife but set the barn on fire first.......your daughter will be safer after he heals up! lol

let her read all of this! at that age they are blind!

......... Well this was a good talk.
Thank god you don't have a daughter... I'd feel sorry for the poor soul if ever there was one brave enough to seduce her.............

 

[kbrunlees]

No pa, hate to break it to ya but you have grey hair because you're... Getting old...

OUCH!!!!!!! And you figure your daughter loves you huh? LOL

 

[scotts]

I feel it just as important for the fathers of the boys to be having conversations on sexuality and relationships as it takes two to tango. There is a ton of comments here on how the boys are on the continuous hunt, well in my experience in never met a girl/ women who didn't want it just as bad and who wouldnt lie, cheat and sneak to get it.
Its one of the strongest instinct's we human animals have, hence the 7 billion of of us!
All a parent can do is talk, talk, talk to your children, give them the tools and knowedge and freedom to make their own mistakes and always be there to support them when they do..

Ps. I can't put my finger on it, but for some reasons overkills story's make me want to put a gun in my own mouth!