Men strike back!

[Rob1334]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------


How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------


Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------


Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

 

[Rob1334]

If a motorcyclist runs into a women, whos at fault?

The motorcyclist, he shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen....

 

[Rob1334]

what do you do if your boiler explodes? Buy her flowers....


Why do men fart more than women? women dont shut up enough to build up pressure...

What should you give women who have everything? Penicillin...

why do women have arms? Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?....

 

[Murminator]

Sometimes I wake up grouchy....sometime I let her sleep in

 

[Rob1334]

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time...

What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told...

Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.,,

 

[Rob1334]

A Letter from Men to Women

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.
When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.
I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

Thank you for your understanding,
From all men.

 

[dragonlady]

A Letter from Men to Women

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.
When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.
I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

Thank you for your understanding,
From all men.

:d:d:d:d:d:d

 

[buck50]

why do women biatch?????


cause they don't fart, toot, sweat, perspire, burp or belch, so if they didn't b!tch they'd explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bogger]

Like my grandfather always said......"I'd never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die"

 

[Bogger]

30% eh.....seems low.

 

[Bogger]

The boat never should have been there.............

 

[KH2110]

why do women marry in white dresses???????


All good kitchen appliances come in white!!!

 

[94fordguy]

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


:d:d:d:d:d

 

[-Swede-]

dunno if this has been up yet, didn't have time to read all theese hundreds and hundreds of posts (just wanted to make a quick contribution)



How du you transform your dishwasher into a snowblower?

























- ya give the old hag a shovel!

 

[intmid8or!]

dunno if this has been up yet, didn't have time to read all theese hundreds and hundreds of posts (just wanted to make a quick contribution)



How du you transform your dishwasher into a snowblower?

























- ya give the old hag a shovel!

good one......top