has anyone ever adopted

[RXN]

Just curious. Has anyone ever adopted their child?
How did the process go for you?

We were just turned down. The reasons hurt. But it is what it is.
Maybe we were too honest.
Wouldn't mind hearing what others went through

 

[Bnorth]

Have some friends trying right now. They are getting married solely because it looks better on the application.

Sent from my SM-P550 using Tapatalk

 

[RXN]

Have some friends trying right now. They are getting married solely because it looks better on the application.

Sent from my SM-P550 using Tapatalk

I wish them the best of luck.

 

[ippielb]

Using the wrong condoms, you gotta look for these free ones. I don't know your situation, but cheer up.

 

[RXN]

Lol. That's funny I wish that was the case.

They sure held the fact I'm diabetic as a strong negative.

 

[gibsons]

Something wrong with the system, keeping children out of the hands of true parents who will love them, care for them, and give them a good up bringing. Life must be so much better in foster homes, or the percentage of adults wanting to adopt, out numbers the percentage of children needing a good home.

 

[lsone]

Why should they care if you're diabetic? We all run the same risk at birth. Are they afraid the child might lose a parent prematurely? What about the healthy( I say healthy from the idiotic perspective of who declined your application) parents that get killed in a car accident? I think that reason is horse ****. I could see heavily drinking/smoking/drug use as a solid reason, not being diabetic.

Sorry to hear dude.

 

[ZRrrr]

We adopted, friends have adopted, we help and talk with people looking to adopt. Been both positive and negative. Where do I start......

PM me if you want my phone number.

 

[LUCKY 7]

sent you a pm

 

[machinehead]

Lol. That's funny I wish that was the case.

They sure held the fact I'm diabetic as a strong negative.

What does sugar dia-beetles have to do with being a loving, caring parent ?

 

[moyiesledhead]

Lol. That's funny I wish that was the case.

They sure held the fact I'm diabetic as a strong negative.

Half the friggin world is diabetic these days!

 

[eclipse1966]

we have some friends that were turned down two years ago (approx) mainly because he worked up in Mackenzie and home every 20 days. Friends were distraught and could not believe it. They eventually gave up looking as they had spent a small fortune.

 

[OVERKILL 19]

All I can say is don't give up!
12 years of IVF and 5 miss carriages we were approved for our adoption....while we were 2.5 months pregnant! and after 5 miss carriages we were not too positive. But we followed the rules and told them we were pregnant hence loosing that adoption and the $12000 we spent on it.

But my son is 6 years old now! I'm 46 lol best money I ever spent! Never look back. It will happen just keep going! Good luck!

 

[LUCKY 7]

Don't give up. It is worth it in the end. if you want to talk more about it send me a pm.

 

[RXN]

Why should they care if you're diabetic? We all run the same risk at birth. Are they afraid the child might lose a parent prematurely? What about the healthy( I say healthy from the idiotic perspective of who declined your application) parents that get killed in a car accident? I think that reason is horse ****. I could see heavily drinking/smoking/drug use as a solid reason, not being diabetic.

Sorry to hear dude.

Told us because I'm type 2, I made poor lifestyle choices that put me there (I wont lie, I lived out of bars and restaurants from 2001 to 2010, when i worked on the road) we are on the heavy side. both around 250. instantly judged and labbled. Also apparently being a millwright is not considered physical work to them, and snowmobiling is not an active lifestyle.

It was a slap to the face. still pretty PO'd about it.

 

[gates559]

Are you able to apply again at a later date or how does that work. Can you appeal it? I've seen heavier parents and with a lot worse problems than diabetes.

Is there a lot of people trying to adopt? I was always under the impression that there were a lot more kids that needed adoption than parents looking to adopt.

 

[RXN]

Are you able to apply again at a later date or how does that work. Can you appeal it? I've seen heavier parents and with a lot worse problems than diabetes.

Is there a lot of people trying to adopt? I was always under the impression that there were a lot more kids that needed adoption than parents looking to adopt.

Through the government there are a lot of kids. Mostly older coming from abusive homes. They sit in foster care, as the government's priority will be to either replace them back with family once proven stable. Place them with their extended family. If not the foster home can apply to adopt. Finally the child is up for adoption. This route I had some issues with. I was willing to work it tho. In this case we adopt the culture of that child as well. So we change our culture a bit to accommodate their culture. Also these are older kids. Mostly FASD. My wife really wanted the infant bonding experience.
That directed us to private adoption. This is where a soon to be mom or soon to be parents decide for whatever reason they can not raise a child and decide to place for adoption. They pick the family they want through profiles. And you go through the entire birthing process with them. It's open adoption so you can remain in contact with the birth parents. And the child will always know that they are adopted.

We were told if we fix 4 areas of concern that we could reapply in 18 to 24 months. Things to change. That's the hard part
Their big issue is we are both over weight and I'm diabetic (no biggie in my mind) turns out that's a show stopper. Even if we lose weight become more active (as they said) I'm still a diabetic. (Stupid in my mind it's under control).
The next thing they wanted us to work on was more active hobbies. We camp. Do the odd little hike (2 or 3 km). We snowmobile and side x side. We go to car shows. Even host our own show. We are on an acreage. I target shoot a bow. But these they said are not active hobbies. My wife had knitting baking and watching a good movie on her list. So basically change what makes us us.
The 3rd item. They felt that we need marriage counciling as we keep things bottled up. So what. It's less fights. It's peaceful. We've been married for 5 years together for 10. We like it like that. But according to the "experts" that's not healthy.

The fourth would be the toughest. They said we do not have enough extended family support. I have some family in Edmonton. Parents. Most are in BC. My wife's family is states or calgary. And yes they would play favorites to their natural grandchildren/great grandchildren over an adopted one.

So if we change those 4 things we can re apply.
I'm 33 my wife is 39. That kind of change won't happen.

We were told we could go to another agency. But we have a file with a home study. So we would pay 4500. Another home study done. Then compared. If we lie it'll be different. If we tell the truth we get the same answer and we are out more money.

They did tell us word of mouth could get us back in. Which is kind of what I've been doing. Letting people know we can and are willing to adopt. If a birth parent is looking for an adoptive couple and they tell the adoption agency they chose us. We are back in. As long as they accept the home study results.

Any one can make a kid but they sure invade you and grill you when you want to adopt.


It's great to see support on here from others. I really do appreciate the comments PM'S and stories from others. Helps kope with it.

 

[ABMax24]

Through the government there are a lot of kids. Mostly older coming from abusive homes. They sit in foster care, as the government's priority will be to either replace them back with family once proven stable. Place them with their extended family. If not the foster home can apply to adopt. Finally the child is up for adoption. This route I had some issues with. I was willing to work it tho. In this case we adopt the culture of that child as well. So we change our culture a bit to accommodate their culture. Also these are older kids. Mostly FASD. My wife really wanted the infant bonding experience.
That directed us to private adoption. This is where a soon to be mom or soon to be parents decide for whatever reason they can not raise a child and decide to place for adoption. They pick the family they want through profiles. And you go through the entire birthing process with them. It's open adoption so you can remain in contact with the birth parents. And the child will always know that they are adopted.

We were told if we fix 4 areas of concern that we could reapply in 18 to 24 months. Things to change. That's the hard part
Their big issue is we are both over weight and I'm diabetic (no biggie in my mind) turns out that's a show stopper. Even if we lose weight become more active (as they said) I'm still a diabetic. (Stupid in my mind it's under control).
The next thing they wanted us to work on was more active hobbies. We camp. Do the odd little hike (2 or 3 km). We snowmobile and side x side. We go to car shows. Even host our own show. We are on an acreage. I target shoot a bow. But these they said are not active hobbies. My wife had knitting baking and watching a good movie on her list. So basically change what makes us us.
The 3rd item. They felt that we need marriage counciling as we keep things bottled up. So what. It's less fights. It's peaceful. We've been married for 5 years together for 10. We like it like that. But according to the "experts" that's not healthy.

The fourth would be the toughest. They said we do not have enough extended family support. I have some family in Edmonton. Parents. Most are in BC. My wife's family is states or calgary. And yes they would play favorites to their natural grandchildren/great grandchildren over an adopted one.

So if we change those 4 things we can re apply.
I'm 33 my wife is 39. That kind of change won't happen.

We were told we could go to another agency. But we have a file with a home study. So we would pay 4500. Another home study done. Then compared. If we lie it'll be different. If we tell the truth we get the same answer and we are out more money.

They did tell us word of mouth could get us back in. Which is kind of what I've been doing. Letting people know we can and are willing to adopt. If a birth parent is looking for an adoptive couple and they tell the adoption agency they chose us. We are back in. As long as they accept the home study results.

Any one can make a kid but they sure invade you and grill you when you want to adopt.


It's great to see support on here from others. I really do appreciate the comments PM'S and stories from others. Helps kope with it.

That' really disheartening to hear. By those standards 95% of parents out their shouldn't be allowed to be parents. Simply out of my own curiosity, have you looked into foreign adoption? Seems like that is becoming more common.

But as you mention foster homes opportunity to adopt I have a distant cousin and his wife that have adopted 4 of their foster children, and even for them it was a process, for their last child it took over 2 years to get everything sorted out.

 

[RXN]

That' really disheartening to hear. By those standards 95% of parents out their shouldn't be allowed to be parents. Simply out of my own curiosity, have you looked into foreign adoption? Seems like that is becoming more common.

But as you mention foster homes opportunity to adopt I have a distant cousin and his wife that have adopted 4 of their foster children, and even for them it was a process, for their last child it took over 2 years to get everything sorted out.

Wow, I'm glad it worked for them, Sitting in the government seminars, they were pushing for foster homes more so over adoptive.

I'm not sure how overseas would work. from this last seminar we were at they told us its a harder process and you are bound by the other counties rules and regulations.

 

[rebel]

Wow what a bunch of bullchit. Total facked up system. My wife and I had thought about adopting when we had a hard time getting pregnant. Four miscarriages but number five stuck and we got a girl. Im a millwright, 280 pounds since I was 16 (35 now) have been rejected for life insurance increase cause of bmi.
Sounds like we wouldn't gotten a adoption either.
Sorry for the let down for you and your wife. Keep spreading the word and hopefully it will work out.

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