What do I do?? School fight

sledderdoc

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School actually asked us not to call other parent as they want to handle it themselves. I agree. The only time I would step in is at the request of my kid or if I felt she was in over her head.
So far all good I'm glad she stood up for herself and no one got hurt. :)
 

Snorider

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Boxing class

it will give her confidence and the skills to finish what the other girl started.

yea don't promote fighting but being scared like that and not knowing how to defend yourself is not a good combo.


but thats just my pennies worth.
 

bigdaddy35

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I'd talk to your daughter, but also set up a meeting with both the Principal and the school resource officer (a cop) as an assault did take place. I'd ask the principal to outline how they intend to deal with the situation and a timeline for this to take place. The RO does need to be aware of the situation as they can become great mediators instead of the legal things... Nothing gets someones attention more than a visit from the constable.

20 years ago, a school yard fight was just that, and it was over. Sure the school knew if it was planned, but the teachers also heard about it and were able to step in before it got out of hand Watching my kids today it seems different, and can escalate quickly. Texting and cel phones make it harder for the teachers to realize something's up. It's important the right people are aware of what is going on in the school, and principal's aren't equiped for it... that's what the RO's are for.

Just my 2 cents
 

BC Sno-Ghost

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I agree that books are just books and not always applicable in every situation. This is the dialogue I was looking for. Almost every social development expert will tell you that teens need parent involvment even when they "say" they don't need or want it. Everyone needs the skills to build their confidence and self esteem. I do not condone "solving" the problem for the child, but working with the teen to show them there are options for dealing with the situation. Kids are so afraid of their peers they will live in a constant state of fear and avoidance. That is no way to live. What good does that do?? They end up making hit lists and walking into schools with guns a blazing. They need to be taught the skills for conflict resolution and that can takes parents, educators and community members. Simply trying to avoid a situation is not productive for anyone. Having these girls and parents at least talk to one another is a good step. Much of the issue can be identified just by talking it out. A skill that seems to be missing in todays society. Often what one sees is not in fact what is actually the case (as sledders we are all too familiar with this). These two girls and thier parents should talk it out and the girls can end up stronger together than going their seperate ways. They obviously both do not like the situation and pressure from the other peers. If they band together they likely won't have to deal with as much of the pressure from the others.

Good topic. I like thei dialogue of this sort of stuff, and I like to read what others think and feel. I'm not an expert and do learn from everyones input as well.

You'd make a good politician! ;)
 

Ridin High

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You know its easy to say teach her a lesson and have your daughter fight back. But the truth is now a days, what starts as fighting turns into stabbings then shootings. I realize there has to be self defense and such, but at some point someones gotta pull the pin and walk away. I graduated not to long ago, and have been cornered or have had friends beat up at bus stops and such. Its not easy. But the reality is, every baby boomer had there fist on fist fights. Now every teen today, has fist on knife or gun fights. the world is changing and changing very fast. i know i may not of given you any answers to your problem here, but i hope you can inform your own ideas out of it. One police officer told me. Remember in self defense you can not pull any weapon out of higher power no matter who started the fight. Hope all gets figured out.
 

ZEDNECK

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You know its easy to say teach her a lesson and have your daughter fight back. But the truth is now a days, what starts as fighting turns into stabbings then shootings. I realize there has to be self defense and such, but at some point someones gotta pull the pin and walk away. I graduated not to long ago, and have been cornered or have had friends beat up at bus stops and such. Its not easy. But the reality is, every baby boomer had there fist on fist fights. Now every teen today, has fist on knife or gun fights. the world is changing and changing very fast.

so true, 2 weeks ago at a party my friend Blake got pushed into a fire. he wasnt seriously hurt but very well could have been. the other kid is lucky i wasnt there or i would've pumped his eye shut
 

Slamnek

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As of Sept. 3/09 i am a proud new father of a beautiful little girl and i have to say that there is a lot of great advise on here. It scares me to think aobut what bullies might do and how I would react. Its nice to know that there are so many caring people out there with what sounds like a lot of parenting experiance. Thanks
 

sledderdoc

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As of Sept. 3/09 i am a proud new father of a beautiful little girl and i have to say that there is a lot of great advise on here. It scares me to think aobut what bullies might do and how I would react. Its nice to know that there are so many caring people out there with what sounds like a lot of parenting experiance. Thanks

Congradulations and good luck!!! It's an ugly world out there right now!! :confused:
 

Ryano

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As of Sept. 3/09 i am a proud new father of a beautiful little girl and i have to say that there is a lot of great advise on here. It scares me to think aobut what bullies might do and how I would react. Its nice to know that there are so many caring people out there with what sounds like a lot of parenting experiance. Thanks

Congrats x 3
 

Sleeper700

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I am hoping that our unborn twins, yes TWINS (we found out 2 days ago) will have each other's back in any of these types of situations, and it will deter bullies from picking on either one. I still can't believe its twins.... she is 5 months in, and first ultrasound...BAM.. going from one to three just like that, and the older one will be 15-16 months old when the twins come!!!
 

rmktime

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went through this last year in delta the east indian kids were picking and beating up my 10 year old boy because he was new 2 the school, well like any loving father would do went to the school 2 see what could be done also went to the parents houses and was blown off like it was event a problem , it got so bad my child didnt even want to go 2 school.... well i decided to take matters into my own hand took my kid put him in self defence courses and showed him a thing or 2 on how 2 fight , well a few days later get a call from the school it appears my kid nocked out three teeth of this 13 year olds kid , well told the principle < like you said they will sourt it out themselfves > later on that night the father comes 2 our place yelling swearing at me and my sons the whole god dam nabour hood was watching , well had enough of it told my sons now watch dad fight , long story short broke his jaw and a few ribs , he got a ride in ambulance , i got a ride to the cells , was charged but later dropped , point it you must do something before it gets out of hand pertect your kids now stand up for them , if you dont they wont come and tell you anything or whats going on at school they will become distant to you ... my son now communicate a lot better now , seeing as he knows ill do anything for him and stand up for him ,
 

Cyle

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You know its easy to say teach her a lesson and have your daughter fight back. But the truth is now a days, what starts as fighting turns into stabbings then shootings. I realize there has to be self defense and such, but at some point someones gotta pull the pin and walk away. I graduated not to long ago, and have been cornered or have had friends beat up at bus stops and such. Its not easy. But the reality is, every baby boomer had there fist on fist fights. Now every teen today, has fist on knife or gun fights. the world is changing and changing very fast. i know i may not of given you any answers to your problem here, but i hope you can inform your own ideas out of it. One police officer told me. Remember in self defense you can not pull any weapon out of higher power no matter who started the fight. Hope all gets figured out.

You can't live in fear though. I personally saw someone tried to stab my friend at a party. The kid will NEVER pull a knife again I can tell you that right now. He started a fight he couldn't finish, and ending up crying to his dad (turns out he was only 15, but somehow drove himself there). Never any charges against the people who "made him see the light" :d

I don't care who it is if someone starts something with me I will finish it. I know how it is now, i've only been out of high school for 2 years. It is getting bad but still lots of people who are stand up, and will help put people who like guns and knives in their place.

I almost got in one a few months ago, one guy at a party was all over 1 buddies WIFE and anothers GF, he was grabbing them really bad, they were both really mad. Everyone was so sick of it, and were very close to taking him out back and showing him some respect.

It is only going to get worse if people stop standing up for themselves and what is right.

Congratz on the babies, it will be a long 18 years :p
 

ZRrrr

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went through this last year in delta the east indian kids were picking and beating up my 10 year old boy because he was new 2 the school, well like any loving father would do went to the school 2 see what could be done also went to the parents houses and was blown off like it was event a problem , it got so bad my child didnt even want to go 2 school.... well i decided to take matters into my own hand took my kid put him in self defence courses and showed him a thing or 2 on how 2 fight , well a few days later get a call from the school it appears my kid nocked out three teeth of this 13 year olds kid , well told the principle < like you said they will sourt it out themselfves > later on that night the father comes 2 our place yelling swearing at me and my sons the whole god dam nabour hood was watching , well had enough of it told my sons now watch dad fight , long story short broke his jaw and a few ribs , he got a ride in ambulance , i got a ride to the cells , was charged but later dropped , point it you must do something before it gets out of hand pertect your kids now stand up for them , if you dont they wont come and tell you anything or whats going on at school they will become distant to you ... my son now communicate a lot better now , seeing as he knows ill do anything for him and stand up for him ,

That's the end point I was trying to make....without the fighting.

Sure hope it's over for your son and you.
 

ZRrrr

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....and my congratualtions to all the new kidlets on their way. We have a chance to make changes with this new generation. No more guilt parenting!:beer:
 

bengp1

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having graduated last year and only ever having been in one fight it was enough to deter others from the bs i went through most of my school life after putting one guy in to the hospital and soaking up a sucker punch from a guy half again as big as me it took 12 years in school to get mme to fight and i wish id done it sooner im not afraid of it but i dont like it but standing up for yourself is a good idea and sometimes just the words if you dont get off me im gonna throw you a a.. whoopin isnt enough you actually have to do it though it almost got me kicked out of school
 
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