Required: Sense of humor

[SUMMIT TREE]

I always had my suspicions, but thats clears it up, officially Redneck!

 

[snopro]

Are you a Democrat,Republican or Redneck?

Here is a little testthat will help you decide

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, lockseyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, andcharges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mereseconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
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Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this sendto society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away while he wasstabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to aconsensus.

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Republican's Answer:

BANG!

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Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....
(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips orHollow Points?'

Son: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'

Wife: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist !

That made my redneck day!!!

 

[nast70]

[FONT=&quot]At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Because her new husband is so old, LouAnne decides that on their wedding night,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]she and Morris are to have separate bedrooms.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The newlywed is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]if they spend the entire night together.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepares herself for bed,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and for the expected "knock" on the door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]ready for action. They unite as one.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepared to go to sleep.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]LouAnne consents to further coupling.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and leaves. LouAnne is set to go to sleep again.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door and there he is again...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And again they enjoy one another. As Morris is once again set to leave,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]you can go at it three times. I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You're a great lover, Morris."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?"[/FONT]

 

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[Dooitorbust]

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And they’re the only ones stupid enough to lose money selling them.

 

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[doorfx]

Smoke another fat one they will never know!

 

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