Need Help with common law seperation

[Bogger]

Holy Hell how many times did you have to type that out to get all the right x's in the right spots. That would be enough to confuse even the most organized of people. I couldn't imagine having to be responsible for that many people in a given week...takes a special PEOPLE to keep positive relationships like that going.

Fixed it for ya:d

Unfortunately not everyone is as civilized and easy to deal with....unlike yourself sleddermom many ex's are bitter

Bogger

 

[MOMMA]

Holy Hell how many times did you have to type that out to get all the right x's in the right spots. That would be enough to confuse even the most organized of people. I couldn't imagine having to be responsible for that many people in a given week...takes a special person to keep positive relationships like that going.

I know!!! We don't even try to explain things to anyone, it just comes out wrong. We took the kids on a ski trip, my husband's ex was helping me out with the little ones. A creepy ski instructor was getting a little fresh with me, he asked me how many kids I had, I said 4 but I share three with that lady up there (my husband's ex). He thought I ment that I was a lesbian with her, which actually worked for me as he didn't hit on me for the rest of the day. Now we joke about how the kids have 2 mommies.

 

[Bogger]

Back to the original question.....If there the separation is amicable...then you can save a lot of money going into court with the decisions already made and in writing....if there is bitterness and you feel your ex is able and willing to pretend to play nice while sticking a sword in your back then spend the cash and protect yourself.....messy divorces/separations can cost...but a good lawyer can cut down on those costs. My lawyer was $250 an hour but could take care of things 3X faster than my ex's lawyer...said and done my divorce cost me about 12000 I think...but I know my ex's costs were much higher...I heard about that...as if it was my fault we were in court...

 

[Powertool29]

Fixed it for ya:d

Unfortunately not everyone is as civilized and easy to deal with....unlike yourself sleddermom many ex's are bitter

Bogger

My biggest beef (since we don't agree on "most" things and needed a lawyer)
going to court to obtain a parenting agreement to make things smoother and give stability for our son....
and she wants to manipulate and change it on a monthly basis to match her other family plans ???
what's the point of an agreement if one side is not going to follow it...
Plus she knows exactly what buttons to push to P$ss me off..
we argued in court over a crock pot...UGH
What I can't stand is a liar...

 

[Scuba]

I sure hope that i never have to go through this, Just a question did any of you try counselling first or was it just a lost cause already???

 

[Bogger]

I sure hope that i never have to go through this, Just a question did any of you try counselling first or was it just a lost cause already???

In my case it was a lost cause....besides you know what they say about making a deal with the devil...

 

[Powertool29]

I sure hope that i never have to go through this, Just a question did any of you try counselling first or was it just a lost cause already???

After seperation counceling was "Mandatory" and lead to nothing..
things are changing, but back then the courts were still leaning towards the mother.
The fathers are now getting a better shake..

 

[MOMMA]

I sure hope that i never have to go through this, Just a question did any of you try counselling first or was it just a lost cause already???

10 years of marriage, he wouldn't go to counseling, the last minute when the door was hitting him in the butt he said he would go then backed out of it yet again. There were some pretty serious issues that I didn't want the kids to witness. He is a better father without me as a wife.

 

[Powertool29]

10 years of marriage, he wouldn't go to counseling, the last minute when the door was hitting him in the butt he said he would go then backed out of it yet again. There were some pretty serious issues that I didn't want the kids to witness. He is a better father without me as a wife.

Time heals wounds !!
After 11 years I am finally there...
But still don't like to bring up old hurtful feelings from her..
we communicate via Email. (email is a wonderful thing)

 

[Bogger]

"He is a better father without me as a wife."

As am I, It's pretty hard to be a productive parent when 80% of your energy is spent in opposition to the other parent...besides in order to have a chance of keeping them in the province I had to give up my Ft.Mac gig and get a real (poverty level) job.....but in the end it's all in the best interests of the children, they are much better off being raised by myself and my current wife then they would have been with her...

 

[Powertool29]

my ex wife's voice still raises the hair on the back of my neck..
(that's why I love email so much)
Actually I think sometimes my Fiancee hates her more than I do..
the hardest part is keeping the fighting away from the children.
its not a good thing for the children to see their parents arguing all the time.

 

[scotts]

Boy does this post ring home as iam up to my neck in a bitter divorce as we speak.Sleddingmom you seem to have a pretty incrediable situation, you have no idea how lucky you are. I really dont understand why people cant be adults and strive to just make the best of a bad situation.I think i have aged ten years in the last couple.
As far as advice... Just get a laywer you trust and you might as well be as honest as you can. As far as selling stuff to your friends for a buck,forget it,The courts view such as dissipiation of assets and you will be required to pay back at a fair market value.
Get your custody issues settled as quickly as possible before money and property disputes sour the discussions,Far to often children are used as leverage and as a wepon to hurt the other party.
Goodluck my friend it will get better,......least thats what i keep telling myself

 

[Mike270412]

Goodluck my friend it will get better,......least thats what i keep telling myself

Try bowling!

 

[Bogger]

Try bowling!

Now that was funny.....

 

[Bogger]

And for the record....It does get better, I look forward to going home now, I want to spent time with my wife....hell I bought her a sled...

Durring the whole court crap I was litterally loosing chunks of hair, I had a dozen bald spots which were smooth as a baby's but, coulden't sleep properly, ect....but in the end all is for the better.

Cheers and best of luck..

Bogger

 

[RETODD]

Run Forest Run !!!!

 

[Trashy]

sad but true....Alberta common-law law states after 90 days of co-habitation, she gets half of the gain.

I just went through a Common Law Seperation, in Sept 08. The Province of Alberta, has changed the time frame to up to 3 years of Living together.

Google,

Common Law Seperation Canada .com

This should help on the info you need.

 

[pipes]

I liked my divorce. Used one of those Divorce kits. In the initial steps, issues of children and support are taken care of there. Then it goes into splitting of assets. We just split everything up the middle, and if there was something one of us needed that the other didn't have we figured that out, especially since the kids are involved. We still horse trade back and forth, firewood, bedding, furniture, so the kids have comfort in both places. With child support, there was a set number based upon wages that determines what the ex husband will pay. I opted for less than the designated amount. To make sure they have a quality of life with my ex, he pays a little less child support to me, so he can have enough money to do things with the kids while he has them. They see him during the week for a few hours, and sleep at home, then on the weekend they sleep over one or two nights. Some go to his home, some stay, it's all up to the kids. Usually we end up with two kids and he ends up with two kids so both of us have kids for weekends. Gives the big one's a break from the little ones! If there is something special on either side, like family visiting, we make sure the kids have time to visit with extended family. We usually do Christmas eve at my house, then the kids are picked up at 11:00am for Christmas day with their dad. I look after their dental as My husband has us on his dental and medical. My ex is very grateful for that so he gives my husband things like plywood, light fixtures, and tools. He even brought a back hoe over to our house to do some excavating.

sounds like you made it work. a civil settlement

 

[grizzley1]

well i wish you the best of luck, things are not fair now a days when it comes to this stuff, like the poor guy who had to spend 50gess that is just crazy. just sign the paper and be on there way :d:d

 

[Powertool29]

well i wish you the best of luck, things are not fair now a days when it comes to this stuff, like the poor guy who had to spend 50gess that is just crazy. just sign the paper and be on there way :d:d

My divorce did cost over $50,000 but in the end when he got old enough my son made his choice to live with me and that is worth way more to me than any amount of money...