whoDEANie
Active VIP Member
This needs to be posted in the Jamboree thread!
Seen this on Facebook
Best Craigslist ad ever...so, so wrong....but too funny not to share:
For sale: one early 80’s Craftsman riding lawn mower with an 11 horse power engine and 30″ mowing deck. Bottom line, this beast is a sick ride! In fact, I’d even say it’s the El Camino of yard whips. Just take a look at those sweet ass rims. So dope they look rented. #arethosedubs?
Wait, is that a chicken in the background? Damn straight! Because the Craftsman riding lawn mower was considered the barnyard pimp of its day. Get yer yerrd on, fool!
Is it fast? Ever heard of old school 3 on the tree? Well, this whip’s got 8 on the hip. That’s right, 8 screamin’ gears of merciless speed! Need to mow that $h!t Richard petty style? No problem. Snappin’ necks and mowin’ decks, homie…
Just look at this beast. It even has the original factory pin striping. This NASCAR style speed demon will look quick just sitting in your driveway. Neighbors be like “SMH with envy.” Don’t dare put this baby in the shed. She deserves the garage. #nooneputsbabyinthecorner
Does it run, you ask? HELLS YEAH! Like a pack of Kenyans on crystal meth! This bad boy just got a carburetor rebuild, new seals all the way around and a brand new battery installed. Turns over quicker than your prom date. And you don’t even need to buy it wine coolers.
Don’t get me started on the mowing deck! 30 full inches of precision slicin’ and dicin’. Cuts better than Edward Scissor Hands and Lorena Bobbit in a knife fight. And this blade runner has 8 cutting heights! Go full Brazilian with a 1 inch cut, or bring your field of dreams up to 8 inches, 1970’s style; your choice. All I’m sayin’ is this mo-fo fades a lawn better than a set of hair clippers at Fantastic Sams. Whaaaa?
But can I mow with it at night, you ask? Who hasn’t awoken at O’dark:30 to mow their lawn black ops style? No problem with this night rider. It has a fully functioning head light, Michael. #Getyerdarkon
Pretty sure this man-ride is the luxury model. It’s equipped with a plush pleather spring ride seat for those Brokeback yards, 10 inch Kung Fu grip steering wheel and rubberized foot pads. Ain’t no footloose goin’ on up in here. Safety first, homies!
You: So how much is this Kentucky bluegrass love machine?
Me: Just $500.°°.
You: Wait, what?
Me: That’s right, you heard me, only $500 greenbacks.
The world: How is that possible?
Me: my family and I have enjoyed using this cutting-deck of dope-ness since it’s immaculate inception back in the 80’s. Can you say one owner? Yup!
It’s time this black pearl set sail and find another crew to roll with. It’s faded many lawns in its day and is looking for the greener grass on your side of the fence.
Don’t wait to call or you’ll be tellin’ stories about the one that got away for the rest of your life, or call me now and become the lawn jockey you always dreamed to be.
No texts, please. I need to hear your voice and know that this family pet is going to a 100% full blooded american. #Merica
It would be a relative of the person who invented this who has everyone needing nitrogen in the tires nowadays. LOL
It would be a relative of the person who invented this who has everyone needing nitrogen in the tires nowadays. LOL
Especially because air is 78% nitrogen anyway plus the tire already has air in it that you can't get rid of. Good scam for the tire guys. Just about as good as gluten free lettuce
I argued with our safety people at a safety meeting about that. They said in the safety meeting that there was 80% oxygen in there air. I laughed and said they’re wrong and told them 20.9% oxygen. I almost got wrote up for correcting them.
Obviously the safety person never took a H2s course.
I don't know how to do your job but my clipboard says you're doing it wrong