Hockey One-liners

[win]

Since our Oilers suck maybe these will make you smile:d.
If anybody has more, keep it going.

-Q:What do the Edmonton Oilers and Titanic have in common?
-A:They both look good until they hit the ice!


-Q: What do you get if Wiarton Willie sees a Edmonton Oiler?
-A:Six more weeks of bad hockey!


-Q:Why doesnt Red Deer have a NHL team?
-A Because then Edmonton would want one....


-Q How do you know a leper is playing ice hockey?
-A There s a faceoff in the corner.

 

[AreWeThereYet]

What's the difference between a vacuum and the Oilers?

You can turn the suck off on a vacuum.

 

[win]

-Q Why are the Oilers like Canada Post?
-A They both wear uniforms and dont deliver!

 

[win]

I submit the following name changes for the Oilers to better reflect the nature of play this season.
Edmonton Broilers....they re cooked in only 60 minutes.
Edmonton Soilers.....they stink like a babys diaper.
Edmonton Lawyers....their case is pretty weak, and all lawyers suck.

 

[Cat401]

New Alberta Law:
The RCMP are cracking down on speeders heading into Edmonton
On the QE11. For the first offense, they give you two Oilers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.


Q. What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Cup Playoffs?
A. The Oilers

Q. How do you keep the Oilers out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.

Q. What do you call a Oilers with a Cup ring?
A. A thief.

Q. How many Oilers does it take to win a Cup?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q. What do the Oilers and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.