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CONFUSED LITTLE CLARENCE Little Clarence came home from his Flin Flon school one day slightly confused. His Mother was Jewish and his father was a native. So Clarence asks,"Mommy, am I more Jewish or more native?" "What does it really matter? If you want to know for sure you'll just have...

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?' The...

GOTTA PEE Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to...

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy! He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman...

I don't much care what is upstairs, I like both the staircase's I'll test drive both please then share the results:d

· My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that--2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. · I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get...

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses with a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.. His wife raises her head off the green and...

The meter is just for the RV? either unplug the RV or turn of the main breaker then check if the meter is still turning or "creeping" if it is still turning with main breakers turned off, you might have a bad meter or a connection or splice is failing. between the meter and the main breaker. Is...

Signed and e-mailed back...... Good luck!!

Well written Police Report Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man...

Elton John and David Furnish wanted a baby. They had their sperm mixed together and a surrogate mother was artificially inseminated. When the baby was born Elton and David were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming. In the...

Is this so wrong? I saw a one legged Muslim with no arms at the ATM today. He asked me to check his balance, so I pushed the focker over.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it ******************** I had amnesia once---or twice ******************** I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? ******************** Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic...

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean. John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning...

Our little girl is growing up!! BIRTHDAY REMINDER This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turns 50. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday, She was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, Putting everything in her mouth...They grow up so...

A Pakistani dies and goes to Heaven. ... He knocks on the Pearly Gates and St. Peter opens them. ....... "Yes?", asks St. Peter. ... "I am here for Jesus", says the Pakistani. ... St Peter turns around and shouts, "Jesus, your taxi's here"

Be carefull what you ask for!!!! Better define WHAT pics you are looking for.:d

An Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over a pick-up truck owner for a faulty tail light. When the officer approached the driver, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver’s license, insurance card and a concealed weapon carry permit (CCP). The officer took all the...

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt; and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish...