Search results

An elderly woman approaches the President of a 1% MC in a biker bar and asks what she needs to do to join. The Pres asks her if she can cuss. She proceeds to call him everything but his name. Then he asks if she can hold her drinks. She challenges and bests one of the other members in...

A young boy enters a barber shop and barber whispers to is customer, "this is the dumbest kid in the world" Watch while I prove it to you. The Barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, " Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the...

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80...

The Best Smart Alec Answers of 2011!! SMART ALEC ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ALEC ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was...

A woman in a supermarket is watching a grandfather and his badly-behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.Meanwhile...

Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing house siding, she would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,' Why are you...

A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I'm...

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit...

just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?' Reporters interviewing a...

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?"...

A pirate walks into a bar, with a steering wheel sticking out the front of his pants. So the bartender says, "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" And the pirate says, "Arrgh, and it's drivin' me nuts"

this is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning...

Thank you Wayne, got the tickets. Cheers Kurt

toys cost and wow, I will make ya all feel better, clean slate for me, no accidents ect. 2013 HD FLHTK $2220.00 per year! full insurance, 300 deductible 1m 3rd party liability

And lets not forget FAB 1 ........... yes it appears some good folks have gone missing

Wife and I are planning on going. Sounds like our plans maybe close to the same. We are thinking about arriving Late Saturday, Aug 2 and outta there Aug 6. We are riding from WPG to Bismark Friday, then day Sturgis Sat. Prob gonna be staying in Rapid City.On a another note: heading to...

While I agree with Catalac I disagree. GMO: we ARE using more round up than ever before, increasing amount of super weeds and the increase of round up ready crops. GMO insect resistant: BT CORN, the european corn bore for which the BT corn was developed has developed resistance to the gene...

Monsanto buys leading bee research firm after being implicated in bee colony collapse Why would one of the largest purveyors of pesticides, genetically engineered seeds and agrochemicals want to buy a company which has been seeking solutions to the escalating threats to the world bee...

Non Monsanto scientist have spoken, and have peer reviewed papers and documents. The problem is that the USDA, CFIA, and many governments around the world have said it is safe, no issues. So when that many people, governments etc, say its safe, the non monsanto scientists etc have many...

Wheat futures fell 0.5 percent to $6.99 a bushel by 4:58 a.m. on the Chicago Board of Trade. suspended imports of western-white wheat and feed wheat from the U.S., and canceled an order, said Hiromi Iwahama, director for grain trade and operation at the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and...